无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年10月号)

托福考位还会有的,这不,周三就增加了一个国家考试中心的考场么,说明NEEA还是非常清楚考生是需要考位的,只是现在NEEA还在按兵不动,真的很难猜测葫芦里面卖的什么药,难道他们在测试些新的放出机制?如果真的这样的话,无老师建议考前1周才放考位,是个很好的选择,因为至少大家全都够公平。当然,今天的重点还是新的一期,10月号作文巨讲堂。本次的材料还是使用前段时间无老师转发的太傻上得满分作文http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3595作为素材的蓝本,进行加工的。当然,首先要来看优秀的作文。 无老师优秀范例:Second, technology has equipped children with professional apparatus which could finally realize their imagination. This takes from particularly as computer soft wares and applications, such as Photoshop for creating graphic design, Overture for easily composing a piece of music, 3DMax for building up a virtual world, etc.. All the softwares were never as handy as they are at present, and this world absolutely provides our children an effective tool for realizing their creativity. 无老师翻译:第二点,科技已经用很多专业化的仪器来驱动孩子的想象力,而这些专业的工具可以最终实现这些孩子们的想象力。所有的这一切都是源于计算机软件和应用的使用,比如说Photoshop就可以用来进行图像上的创作,Overture可以用来很容易的在电脑上剪辑歌曲,3DMax则可以创造一个虚拟世界。所有的这些电脑软件从没有像今天这么易用和便捷,这个世界绝对是为我们的孩子提供了一个强大的可以实现他们创造力的工具。 无老师平庸范例:Second,There are many professional tools that can offer our kids plenty of chances to make their dream happen. All of these possibilities were made by computer soft wares, such as Photoshop which may make picture design on the computer, Overture which could split and join the music on the computer, and the 3DMax which can make a virtual world. These soft wares were never as convenient as it is today, and this world really offer a powerful tool which can make their dream happen. 第一句:优秀范文,Technology has equipped children with professional apparatus which could finally realize their imagination.相比于平庸范例There are many professional tools that can offer our kids plenty of chances to make their dream happen.可以说平庸范例真的是弱爆了!平庸范例还停留在僵化的使用there be句型上。可是优秀范例的一个小equip“装备”用的非常到位,相比于我们平时的have,offer,真的是十分形象,有一种士兵被装备武器的感觉。然后再接下来的professional apparatus,显得优秀范例的作者词汇量很好,而且用一个形容词professional来进行修饰和限定,比平时单纯用good这样的词更加准确。其后,优秀范例的一个realize their imagination实现某人的想象,可以直接背下来,用于我们自己的作文之中。 第二句:This takes from particularly as computer soft wares and applications比起平庸范例All of these possibilities were made by computer soft wares.顿时显得平庸范例是那么的Chinglish!反观优秀范例,的一个takes from显得举重若轻,平时我们在写因为,或者源于……的时候,总是笨拙地用because,这里的take from则是显得很轻巧,然后的soft wares and applications则是用applications对于soft wares进行进一步的补充和说明(虽然为并列形式),显得作者说话十分的全面。 其后,优秀范例的such as Photoshop for creating graphic design, Overture for easily composing a piece of music, 3DMax for building up a virtual world, etc.相比于平庸范例such as Photoshop which may make picture design on the computer, Overture which could split and join the music on the computer, and the 3DMax which can make a virtual world. 各位考友立即就能发现,优秀范例全是用的非谓语动词的doing伴随形式,可是平庸范例还都是在用笨拙的定语从句,显得十分臃肿。具体的看,我们会发现优秀范例用到了graphic design,compose,build up这些表达方法,虽然这些次我们全都见过,但是几乎没有想过用在这些地方,这就充分显示出作者平时在阅读中的积累特别好。 最后一句话,优秀范例是All the softwares were never as handy as they are at present, and this world absolutely provides our children an effective tool for realizing their creativity.平庸范例是:These soft wares were never as convenient as it is today, and this world really offer a powerful tool which can make their dream happen.平心而论,对于中国考生来说,能用到convenient已经很不容易了,但是优秀范例里竟然用了handy方便的,以hand作为词根,说明此词有一种简单易用,甚至随手拈来的意思,用的甚妙!后面的句子,优秀范例与平庸范例差距不大。^_^   相关阅读: 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(1)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1787 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1805 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(3)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1807 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(4)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1834 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(5)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2141 无老师新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(6)【无老师作文】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2221 无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年2月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2340 无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年3月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2448 无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年4月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3016 无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年5月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3118 无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年6月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3232 无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年8月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3458   无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年9月号):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3700 iBT新托福30分满分作文大赏:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/3595 托福作文题目写作思路【无老师力荐】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2153 20天汉译英作文法【无老师力荐】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2145 iBT新托福金牌五星作文模板词(形容词、副词+动词篇):http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1813 新托福作文——见山不是山,见水还是水【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/2075 手把手教你打造满分作文模板(上)【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1092 手把手教你打造满分作文模板(下)【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1141 美国总统奥巴马制造的作文模板(第1期)【无老师原创】:http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1302

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