无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2011年12月号)

无老师优秀范例:First and foremost, technology has provided children with easy access to scientific and liberal art resources which is their best source of inspiration. For example, children could now easily gain access to academic databases through iPad screen, read classical works on Kindle, or watch historic documents on Internet. These great works are essentially helpful to arousing their curiosity and prepares them with key knowledge necessary for any creation. However, these wonderful equipments and facilities are never as handy in the past, when kids could only reach limited resources in public libraries or schools. In this sense, technology has provided the possibility for children to be more creative. 无老师优秀翻译:第一点,技术给孩子们提供了更容易的接近科学和文学作品的机会,而这些恰好就是激发人创造能力的最好的源泉。举个例子,孩子们现在就很容易用ipad去查询学术数据库,用kindle读经典名著,亦或者是在网上读历史文件。这些伟大的发明都会激发人们的好奇心,而且还为他们进行创造做好了必要的,知识上的准备。但是,这些伟大的发明在之前是完全没有的,尤其是当孩子们被限制在公共图书馆和学校的那些有限资源里的时候。从这个角度来说,技术给孩子们提供了更具创造力的可能。 无老师平庸范例:First and foremost, the technology provides more chances to get in touch with science and writing, which are the best way of inspiring creation. For example, children could use Ipad to search academic databases, use kindle to read great books, or read history document on the internet. All these creations could inspire the curiosity, but also offer technical and sciential preparation for the creation. But all these great equipment didn’t exist in the past, especially the kids were limited resources of the public libraries and schools. So, the technology provides more creativity for the children. 无老师精析:本段内容非常好的诠释出英语本身的表达,与用中文翻译成英文之间的巨大差别。可以说,英文本身是精细化,准确化的,但是中文只要求意思表达清楚即可,可以模糊处理,这一点在本片文章中体现的非常明显。 第一句:优秀范例,First and foremost, technology has provided children with easy access to scientific and liberal art resources which is their best source of inspiration.当头一棒,同样是用provide这个表达,优秀范例用了with easy access to这个固定搭配,表达的是“更易于接触到……”但是平庸范例First and foremost, the technology provides more chances to get in touch with science and writing, which are the best way of inspiring creation.,只是用到了“provides more chances to”,让人看上去觉得很死板。其后,优秀范例当想表示“激励创新”的时候,只是轻巧的用了inspire的名词inspiration,其实就一定表达出了“激励创新”这层含义,而平庸范例,僵化的写出了inspiring creation,显得用词很生硬。 第二句,优秀范例For example, children could now easily gain access to academic databases through iPad screen, read classical works on Kindle, or watch historic documents on Internet.相比于平庸范例For example, children could use Ipad to search academic databases, use kindle to read great books, or read history document on the internet. 这里很显然,For example并不会影响人们的分数,影响水平高低的,其实是优秀范例再次拿出了access这个词,但是遇上依据不同,这一句直接将其与谓语动词gain相连,写出了gain access to,这样就显得对词汇的广度了解得很好。其后当提到databases的时候,很恰当的加入了academic对其进行限定,这与后面的提到ipad作者并没有简单的写ipad,而是对其进行进一步描述加入了screen,这里就与前面的academic一脉相承,显示出作者对于内容描述得很细致,这都是加分的环节。 第三句,优秀范例These great works are essentially helpful to arousing their curiosity and prepares them with key knowledge necessary for any creation.就更棒了这里的are essentially helpful to与with key knowledge necessary for是本句话最大的亮点。对比一下平庸范例“All these creations could inspire the curiosity, but also offer technical and sciential preparation for the creation.”显然are helpful to其实就是我们平时用的help的另一种说法,然后又用essentially表示出程度真的是相得益彰。然后with key knowledge限定出其是在“知识”上对其有“重要”的帮助,其实就是我们经常写的in the way of ……,然后necessary for其实就是我们很喜欢写的must,这样的用法十分地道,强烈建议把这句话背下来,这是典型的表达方式的不同! 下一句,优秀范例However, these wonderful equipments and facilities are never as handy in the past, when kids could only reach limited resources in public libraries or schools.对比平庸范例But all these great equipment didn’t exist in the past, especially the kids were limited resources of the public libraries and schools.主要的差别是在动词上。优秀范例的are never as handy in the past,“历史上从未出现过如此方便的……”,将as handy十分轻巧的插在句子之中,闲得很妙。但是平庸范例则是didn’t exist就显得很直白,没有丝毫的美感。然后优秀范例的后半句reach limited resources这里的reach就用得很巧妙,reach本身是“触及”的意思,但是“触及到”资源,不也就是“读到”这些资源么,这里用的有点类似于“僧推月下门”之中的“推”字,颇值得玩味。 最后一句In this sense, technology has provided the possibility for children to be more creative.用到了我们很少用到的possible的名词形式possibility,同时连带本句话后面的to be more creative,就完全避免了平庸范例So, the technology provides more creativity for the children.的provides more creativity这种僵化的形式。 语言本身很多时候是不能通过简单的词汇和语法进行拼凑的,本篇文章就是一个很好的范例。

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