无老师iBT新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(2012年03月号)

无老师满分范例:However, the comparison between different times is itself ridiculous. The criteria could not be easily determined, and opinions are highly personal. Anyway, we have a longer life span, more advanced medical facilities, and easier traffic than our grandparent when they were children, and we should treasure the present experience. Imagination of the past might only be nostalgia - if I ask my grandparents the same question, they might as well say that our life is much better than the past generations. Who knows? As long as the world is still peaceful, life at any time would not become too difficult to handle. 无老师优秀译文:但是,对于不同时间段的生活的对比,本身就是很可笑的。我们很难找到一个固定的标准,不同人的想法不同的。不管怎样,我们的生命都更长,与我们的爷爷一辈的人的童年相比较,我们有更好的医疗设备,与更便利的交通,我们应该珍惜眼前的一切。对于过去的想念可能只会带来思乡之情,如果我们问偶们(^_^)的爷爷相同的问题,他们很有可能也都会说我们的生活比他们幸福得多。谁知道呢?只要这个世界是和平的,生活在任何一个时间都不会太困难。 无老师平庸范例:However, it is very ridiculous to compare different life in different time. It will be pretty hard to find a settled standard, and we could not share the same opinion about that. Anyway, Life is very long, compared with the childhood that our grandparents experienced, we have better medical facilities, and more convenient transportation, and we must treasure everything now. Longing for the past is nothing, but homesickness, if we ask our grandparents the same question, they must believe that our life is way much better than them. Who knows? As long as we live in a peaceful world, it would not be any difference between different periods. 无老师精析:一见倾心固然让人欢喜,但是平淡之间见不同,也着实令人无限回味。本篇文章就是很典型的,初读之下,感觉平淡无奇,但是如果将我们自己的版本写出来之后,就会发现,原来流畅的文笔,是如此的可遇而不可得。 第一句:优秀范例:However, the comparison between different times is itself ridiculous.对比平庸范例:However, it is very ridiculous to compare different life in different time.显然compare这个单词我们很多时候只会用他的动词词性,优秀范例将其名词化作主语,然后用between来链接different times比平庸范例的in different time显得更多样化多。 第二句:优秀范例The criteria could not be easily determined, and opinions are highly personal.与平庸范例相比It will be pretty hard to find a settled standard, and we could not share the same opinion about that.显然平庸范例连续2句话都用it is句型,显得语言贫乏,除此之外,平庸范例虽然用了settled来修饰标准,但是对比优秀范例的criteria不能被determined,显然当标准不能被决定,自然也就没有一个“被定下来的”标准了,显然优秀范例更简洁。除此之外,优秀范例的后半句personal“非常自我”,对比平庸范例的could not share the same opinion,显然平庸范例写的非常僵化,人家优秀范例用一个词就解决了的事情,你非要用6个词才解决,自然平庸范例就很罗嗦。 第三句,优秀范例写得很棒,Anyway, we have a longer life span, more advanced medical facilities, and easier traffic than our grandparent when they were children, and we should treasure the present experience.对比平庸范例Anyway, Life is very long, compared with the childhood that our grandparents experienced, we have better medical facilities, and more convenient transportation, and we must treasure everything now.这里的优秀范例的a longer life span写得非常棒!平时我们很少能用到span这个词。然后的than our grandparent when they were children,虽然写的平淡无奇,但是对比平庸范例的compared with……就会发现平庸范例写的很生硬,平庸范例硬生生的找出了childhood这个词,但是优秀范例反其道而行之用了when they were children也表达出了年少这层意思,但是显然行文更流畅,而且也更超出我们的想象。最后优秀范例用了present experience对比平庸范例的everything now,显然平庸范例的everything now几乎是小学生写出来的东西,而present experience显然是成年人的表达方法,同时也更书面。 第四句:优秀范例Imagination of the past might only be nostalgia - if I ask my grandparents the same question, they might as well say that our life is much better than the past generations.对比平庸范例Longing for the past is nothing, but homesickness, if we ask our grandparents the same question, they must believe that our life is way much better than them.一开始优秀范例Imagination of the past的将“想象”这个词的名词化显然比平庸范例的Longing for更好。不过接下来的might only be nostalgia与is nothing, but homesickness可以说旗鼓相当,都很棒。最后优秀范例的the past generations比平庸范例更书面化,与前面优秀范例的present experience,可以说异曲同工。 第五句:优秀范例Who knows? As long as the world is still peaceful, life at any time would not become too difficult to handle.比较下面的平庸范例Who knows? As long as we live in a peaceful world, it would not be any difference between different periods.两者水平下差不大,如果非要找亮点的话,那就只有优秀范例用了handle这个词,还算用的地道。^_^ 真的,别玩什么机经,预测,字数多少了,实在是太初级了。要想得满分,还是要来学无老师的作文巨讲堂。之前的作文巨讲堂就在下面,记得都要看完哦!亲!

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