2011年01月
今天主要示范的事过于罗嗦。当无老师看过了数千篇作文之后，发现最常修改的是两种错误，第一个是主谓一致，第二个就是说话啰嗦。之所以会产生罗嗦的现象，就是因为只要你稍微从事过一点翻译，就会发现，其实语言和语言之间是不能一一直接对着翻译的。举个例子，比如说英语里有I don not think so, I know so.如果按照我们之前的翻译方式，就会发现这两句话，是完全相反的意思。但是实际上这两句话的意思是这件事情我想都不用想（在进行对话之前就已经知道答案），我知道这件事情会发生。同样的，我们在写作文的时候，其实大多数人脑中形成的都是中文，然后再用我们学过的语法知识，将这些中文转换成英文。这本身是没错的，但是问题在于我们之前学的语法都是书本上的语法，而不是实际应用的语法。什么叫做书本上的语法呢？举个中国南北方用词的例子。“掉”这个字非常有趣。北方人眼中，掉这个字只有“掉落在地上”的意思；但是在中国的南方，“掉”这个字有两层意思，一层仍然是“掉落在地上”；除此之外还有另一层意思，就是“丢了”。因此，一个南方人很沮丧的跟北方人说：“我的东西掉了”，南方人的意思是东西“丢了”。但是在北方人的眼中，“掉了”就是“掉落在地上”了，那么北方人的反应就只有一种，就是捡起来就好了^_^
今天无老师的《无老师作文巨讲堂》，很多都是谈中英间的这个问题。
无老师优秀范例：Get a life outside of work. This is vital to avoid biding your time in a job you hate. When you have an active social life outside of the office, it becomes so much easier to tolerate mundane or stressful work. A balanced life helps to keep things in perspective。
无老师中文释义：争取获得工作以外的生活 这是在你痛恨的工作中等待良机的关键。 当你在办公室以外获得了积极的社会生活，忍受平淡或充满压力的工作就变得非常容易了。和谐的生活有助于保持对事物的洞察力。
无老师平庸示例：Get a job which is out of your work. This is the key to wait the good chance when you are in the work which you do not like. when you get a positive life outside your office, it is much easy to bear boring and stressed work. A harmonious life could help you look throught your life.
这个非常第一句（the very first one，体会出中英间不能对译了吧^_^）优秀范例中用的是Get a life outside of work.但是在平庸示例中写的是Get a job which is out of your work.很显然平庸范例用了我们中国童鞋们很喜欢用的定语从句，但是实际上，这句话本来就可以用很简短的方式Get a life outside of work.进行表达。平庸示例之中貌似是将句子拉长了，但是实际上，写的笨拙拖沓，没有灵性。
其后，优秀范例 This is vital to avoid biding your time in a job you hate.而平庸范例：This is the key to wait the good chance when you are in the work which you do not like.。首先vital比key用得更加的书面化。接下来bit一词，意思是 vi.投标 vt.出(价)，用在此句的意思是“将……投入”用得十分的形象，堪称妙笔！其后顺势甩出2词，you hate，简洁有力，相比平庸范例中的which you do not like.显得更加的给力^_^
第三句：优秀范例When you have an active social life outside of the office, it becomes so much easier to tolerate mundane or stressful work.而平庸范例写的是when you get a positive life outside your office, it is much easy to bear boring and stressed work.优秀范例中active相比于平庸范例的positive只能说稍胜一筹。active是“主动的”，相比与“正面的”含义只显稍微精确。不过接下来的tolerate mundane or stressful写的就好很多。因为平庸范例中用的是bear，一个很口语化的词，但是tolerate显得更加书面化。其后的mundane则是完胜boring，因为mundane的意思是“世俗的”，本词彰显作者超脱的身份！绝不是庶民口中常用的boring可比的。
最后一句，优秀范例写的是A balanced life helps to keep things in perspective.相比起A harmonious life could help you look throught your life.我们马上就发现balanced中文被翻译成和谐，于是平庸示例中也就用了harmonious。但是优秀示例中的“和谐”具体指的是一种由于“平衡”而得到的舒服生活，显得十分的具体，相比起平庸范例中空洞泛泛的“和谐”写得更为准确。然后再加下来“保持对事物的洞察力”优秀范例中写的是“让我们每个人从自己不同，而且不受影响的角度来看待问题”，但是平庸范例中，只是说要“看透生活”，但是怎么看透，却无从谈起，这就是为什么优秀范例 keep things in perspective更好一些。
话不在多，有魂则灵。文章虽然短小，但是用词间的细微差别，才是真显一个人英语水平高低，同时也体现在最后的托福分数上。无老师的作文巨讲堂是一个常年连载的，要想迅速提高自己的作文，建议把之前的也都看看哦^_^
2011年02月
奉天承运，老无诏曰。无老师作文巨讲堂再次开启！上次作文巨讲堂还是在农历新年之前，无老师的作文巨讲堂系列给您拜年了！
话说这作文的高低，初级看语法水平，高级看遣词造句！现在NBA赛场“给力芬”一次，就把格里芬如下山猛虎的暴扣描述的一览无遗！这就是用词恰到好处的价值！虽然先托福考试对于用词的要求还打不到这个层次，但是佳句偶得总是令人愉悦的。什么是好句子？“轻舟已过万重山”，就是好句子，你如果写成“一个木舟开过了1万公里了！”就显得既没有画面感，也没有冲击力。
跟各位聊聊怎么把自己的句子改为“轻舟已过万重山”这样的好句子，就是无老师作文巨讲堂的目的所在。废话不多说，主菜上桌喽O(∩_∩)O~！
优秀范例：There are two halves to achieving a new reality: You must have time to dream, and you must take action. Give yourself time for creative visualization daily. Note ideas that come, and keep a record of these. Make a rule that you spend X amount of time daily taking action on your dreams. Artists produce artwork. Authors write. If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream。
普通范例：If you want to make a achievement, there are two parts you have to do: You must have time to make a dream, and you must make a movement. You should have time to make a visualization every day. You must think about it and make a note of them. You should make a rule that you should make some time every day to make your dream real. If you are an artist, you should make an artistic production. If you are a writer, you should write something. If you do not do any thing, the dream will never come ture.
中文译文：要想完成一种新的成就是由两个部分决定的：你必须有时间梦想，你必须采取行动。给自己时间，创造形象化的每一天。关注并记录下出现的想法。形成每天花若干时间采取实现梦想的行动的习惯。艺术家创作艺术作品。作家写作品。如果你不采取行动，就不会实现梦想。
咱们首先看好句There are two halves to achieving a new reality用的halve一词，用的是在精妙，这个词的意思是“将…二等分; 平分”此处当做名词来使用，恰好的表示了需要，而且仅需要2部分之意。但是如果你仅用平庸句子If you want to make a achievement, there are two parts you have to do之中的part，那么读者并不知道到底有多少个部分，也须有3部分，或许有5部分，但是你只说了2部分。这就是优秀句子用词更准确。然后优秀句子里面把“让梦想成真”直接翻译为achieving a new reality简洁清晰用new直接修饰reality，相比于平庸句子want to make a achievement显得用词更灵活。
然后优秀句子You must have time to dream, and you must take action.相比于平庸句子You must have time to make a dream, and you must make a movement.贫僧认为优势并不明显，可以说不分伯仲。
接下来优秀范例之中写到Give yourself time for creative visualization daily.比之平庸范例的You should have time to make a visualization every day.就好多了。虽然优秀范例只是用的祈使句，这样显得过于口语化，但是后面的creative visualization daily写得很棒。因为visualization动词转化为名词，本身就有“使之形象化”之意，因此不用再像平庸范例里一样加入一个make。然后后面的daily相比于every day的表示方式，就好像同样说闹心，优秀范例用的是“微微的忧郁”，平庸范例就说：“新买的白球鞋，被人踩了”^_^
后面优秀范例写的是：Note ideas that come, and keep a record of these.平庸例子是You must think about it and make a note of them.也是分不出高低。
后面Make a rule that you spend X amount of time daily taking action on your dreams.与平庸范例You should make a rule that you should make some time every day to make your dream real.相比，其实差别也就在于daily的用法，前面已经讲过，不再赘述。
然后呢呢呢呢……贫尼认为优秀范例Artists produce artwork. Authors write. If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream.比起平庸范例If you are an artist, you should make an artistic production. If you are a writer, you should write something.差别也就在于Author与writer的差别，可以说Author更正式，writer则是write转化而来，显不得你的单词量的广博，因此Author更好。
最后的If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream.和If you do not do any thing, the dream will never come ture.也是竹竿打水平平过，分不出高低呀！
今天的无老师作文巨讲堂差别主要体现在用词上，筒子们好好体会哦HOHOHO！O(∩_∩)O~
2011年03月
无老师优秀范例：Nevertheless, it would not work either if everybody just keep to themselves without communicating. It is also essential for roommates to share their experiences with one another and thus get close in their relationship. In this case, a good sense of humor can be a such a valuable quality as a single joke may break the silence and open up a nice conversation.
无老师中文释义：但是，如果每个人都与外界封闭的话，其实幽默也是没用的。室友之间就该分享他们的经验，这样才能拉近彼此之间的关系。在这种情况下，幽默感，就是一个很重要的品质，比如一个笑话就有可能打破长久以来的沉默，让大家立即活跃起来。
无老师平庸示例：But, if we do not connect with the world， humor is not useful. Roommates should share their experiences, and these will make their relationship closer. In this condition, humor is a very important quality. for example, a joke may break the silence, and make everyone very happy.
无老师分析：本篇文章是一篇满分作文的作者考前的作文，可以说为我们确立了一个很好的练习标准。只要我们能达到这个水平，那么你就是满分作文。急急如律令，作文上！
首先看优秀范例的“Nevertheless, it would not work either if everybody just keep to themselves without communicating.”和平庸范例“But, if we do not connect with the world， humor is not useful.”
Nevertheless这个词真的是文学范，怎么看都显着单词量就是大学生级别的。接下来再看优秀范例里面将either if这个从句放在句子后面，防止了头重脚轻。平庸范例里面当说到起作用的时候，毫不出人意料的用了useful，但是在优秀范例里面则用了很地道的“would not work”可以说，从语法上来说，谁都没错，但是用would not work更符合英语的表达习惯。然后再接下来，“与外界封闭”平庸范例里用了 do not connect ，看上去貌似还好，但是看到优秀范例里用了“keep to themselves without communicating”，就该知道自己败了，而且是失败的那么彻底！keep+without communicating写的就是那么正式和庄重。真的不是一个水准的！
接下来一句话，优秀范例里写到“It is also essential for roommates to share their experiences with one another and thus get close in their relationship.”平庸范例则说“Roommates should share their experiences, and these will make their relationship closer.”
显然优秀范例上来就打破了我们的一个习惯表达，就是我们总喜欢用should，但是实际上我们可以换用更书面的is essential for/to。然后优秀范例马上用了一个逻辑上的顺承连接and thus，同时借用前半句话的主语，直接写出来get close in their relationship。小小的get close，可以说用得巧妙，但是平庸范例里面的make …..close则是太习以为常的，当我们常用的“使得……”的时候，常用的“make …..”这里我们可以学到的，就是get close这个固定搭配和“使得某东西”这个某东西，我们可以用“in the …..”来表达。
最后，优秀范例写的是“In this case, a good sense of humor can be a such a valuable quality as a single joke may break the silence and open up a nice conversation.”。平庸范例写的是“In this condition, humor is a very important quality. for example, a joke may break the silence, and make everyone very happy.”
可以说平庸范例的In this condition也没什么错，但是在英语里，表达“在这种情况下”常用的表达就是“In this case”，这就是固定搭配，该记住的。接下来差别就大了！优秀范例，很地道的写出了“a good sense of humor”表明humor是一个很重要的“能力”加入了good这个正向暗示的单词，可是平庸范例只写了humor，并没有明确的指向好还是不好。然后优秀范例马上又用了valuable来形容quality，不仅指出这是一个好的quality，同时也显示了自己过硬的单词量。同时用了such as中间夹带“大类”，然后as后面放具体的例子的灵动的表达放，就是“such a valuable quality as a single joke ”，如果是我们自己写的话，经常写的是“a valuable quality such as a single joke”。一对比，就能看出优秀范例写得多精彩，自然比平庸范例的“a very important quality”高出2个档次！
最后，优秀范例写的是“open up a nice conversation”，前面的动词也很灵动的用了open up想想我们自己很有可能用的就是make或者have，就能看出优秀范例的作者的写作能力之强。同时，优秀范例后面一个nice来描述conversation，再一比较平庸范例的“make everyone very happy”就知道初级水平比的是用动词，高级水平比的是用名词！一个“nice conversation”本身不就是使人happy的么。我们平庸范例的happy又用的土了。
梦里寻他千百度，蓦然回首那人却在无老师指点处！
2011年04月
无老师优秀范例：With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on. There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities. I disagree with this opinion.
无老师中文翻译：随着现代人生活标准越来越高，休闲活动对我们来说变得越来越重要了，比如说，逛博物馆，欣赏音乐会，亦或者和朋友去游泳。政府应该对于公众活动有补贴，但是另一些人则认为政府应该将钱投入到艺术馆和音乐厅，而不是投到娱乐设施上。我不同意这个观点。
无老师平庸范例：When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends. The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things. I do not agree with this opinion.
本次的优秀范本原型，是一篇30分托福作文满分考友的习作，学习价值，空前绝后！加牛！！！
不过，-_-！！！无老师这次真的是出手重了一点，平庸范例写完估计幼儿园的小盆友看完都会吐血不止。
无老师精析：当然又是先请出优秀范例：With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.然后从卫生间马桶里找出来平庸范例：When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends.
With the improvement of living standard of modern people，“伴随着…”，想一想，其实很多考友很少用“伴随着”这个表达方式，那么各位考友常用的是什么呢？就是“当….时候”吗，但是实际上，在英语里，就是该用with的这个伴随状态。这就是前几天无老师微博里写的：“优秀的作文不是将中文一对一的翻译成英文，而是要用英语去表达自己的意思”，就是这个意思。
然后接下来，improvement，想一想各位考友最常用的就是他的动词的状态，但是实际上书面语中，只要各位考友注意就会发现，经常故意用这个动词的名词性形式，来表示动词的意思，这个一定是各位考友该学的！然后接下来，“生活标准”用level就不好了，这篇优秀范文中用的是standard，不过其实如果换成quality则更为地道！
leisure activities become more and more important for them，这个部分，则是赤果果的在秀自己的词汇量，没设么可讲的。当然，微博里的一位考友问了more and more important就一定是低分的保证么？很显然不是！这篇满分托福作文就是一个很好的例证。
其后，优秀范例的such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.跟平庸范例一样，没什么可讲的。
第二句，就是一个超长的句子“There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities.”对比平庸范例”The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things.“
优秀范例的There is no doubt that，直译过来是“不可否认”的意思，不过实际上，国内各位考友经常在表达这个意思的时候，直接简单的用Some people think吗！看到这里的时候，无老师相信很多考友一定会心的一笑，O(∩_∩)O~，自己也知道在什么时候换用了。接下来subsidies则是又一次秀了单词量，没什么可解释的。至于“public activities”很显然public谁都会写，但是用activities来表示“活动”则是各位考友该记在自己的小本子里了。
其后，优秀范例的“some people argue”很多考友则认为是“很多人争论”，其实你大错特错了，这里的argue应该是“认为”的意思，因此，以后想用think的时候，是不是该停手，思考一下，马上换为“argue”了^_^。
然后接下来，一个超长的more…than…句型，而平庸范例里写的是“…, but…”怎么样，顿感自己像平庸范例里那个句子有多中式英语了吧：P，然后优秀范例用to do…和to do…进行连接，其实我们在写自己的作文的时候，也就是用do something了吗。
然后同样是“花钱”，优秀范例仅用了一个spend，然后后面分别用了两个to do something，直接搞定，超级简洁！其后的“art museums”，“music performance center”和“recreational facilities”分别对应我们经常写的“museums”“center”和“rest things”，怎么样什么感觉，直接吐血外，加拿小本默默地记下来了吧^_^
and the very lastO(∩_∩)O~，怎么样，又学了一个用法吧。最后一句的disagree远比平庸范例的do not agree简洁得多。
其实从中式英语到地道英语，只是一层膜，一捅即破。关键是看你是否真的用心去积累^_^如何从中式英语变地道英语，尽在无老师作文巨讲堂哦^_^！
2011年05月
2011年5月的无老师作文巨讲堂又来了。本段文章还是书接上次的那篇满分作文，务必要做到把这篇满分作文细细的分析透才可罢休。这篇30分的作文，真的是唱作俱佳，德艺双馨^_^，貌似这是郭德纲老师的标准。其实当各位考生准备托福作文的时候，最难的不是去练，也不是去模仿。其实最难的是缺乏一个标准，不知道写到什么程度才算是高分的作文。这才是限制广大考生的最关键的瓶颈。也就是为什么很多考生能考到20分，甚至23分，但是从此以后就很难再进一步提升，就是这个原因。希望无老师对这篇文章的分析，能够对各位考友有所启发，找到通向高分作文的路径^_^
无老师优秀范例：Firstly, art museums and music performance center is no more important than recreational facilities. Admittedly, art museums and music performance is of great importance. Confucius, greatest Chinese philosopher, commented, “Art helps a person gets a better life.” To go to art museums to appreciate those art works and to go the music performance center to listen to symphony help people get improvement in mental life. But it does not mean that recreational facilities take the second place.
无老师中文翻译：第一点，艺术馆和音乐厅远比不上娱乐设施重要。我们必须承认，艺术馆和音乐厅也是有其自身的价值的。孔子，一个伟大的中国的哲学家，就曾经说过：“艺术会赋予人更愉悦的生活”。去艺术馆欣赏艺术品，和去音乐厅聆听交响乐可以帮助我们改善自己的精神世界。但这并不意味着娱乐设施就没有艺术馆和音乐厅重要。
无老师平庸示例：First, recreational facilities are more important than art museums and music performance center. We believe art museums and music performance center values a lot. Confucius, greatest Chinese philosopher, said art may give more pleasure. Watching art in the art museums, and Listening the music in the music performance center can improve our spirit world. But it does not mean recreational facilities is less improtant than art museums and music performance center.
无老师精析：优秀范例先来：Firstly, art museums and music performance center is no more important than recreational facilities.对比平庸范例First, recreational facilities are more important than art museums and music performance center.
很显然，其差别就在于优秀范例其实是将正话反说，也就是我们平时习惯于写A is more important than B.但是优秀范例故意写为B is no important than A.正话反说，凸显自己的表达方式的多样化。^_^
之后的优秀范例：Admittedly, art museums and music performance is of great importance.强势PK平庸范例的We believe art museums and music performance center values a lot.
可以说优秀范例里的Admittedly写得很漂亮，凸显自己的词汇量，中国学生很少这么用。不过，其实平庸范例里面的values a lot也可以算是一个小亮点。
至于之后的Confucius, greatest Chinese philosopher其实这本身是个亮点，至于之后的“Art helps a person gets a better life.”和 said art may give more pleasure.都算是平庸水平。
然后优秀范例是： To go to art museums to appreciate those art works and to go the music performance center to listen to symphony help people get improvement in mental life.对比平庸范例的Watching art in the art museums, and Listening the music in the music performance center can improve our spirit world.
显然优秀范例的几个点还是不错的，分别是appreciate，symphony和improvement in mental life。可以说主要是显示自己的用词的准确性。什么叫做准确性呢，其实就是，当你想说听“贝多芬的交响曲”，你写的是Beethoven – Symphonies而不是music，就是用词准确。
当然本段最大的亮点，就是优秀范例的最后一句话“But it does not mean that recreational facilities take the second place. ”首先，“But it does not mean that”这个表达方法“这并不意味着”专门用来表示否定，中国考生就很少会用到，这个是该记在本子上的^_^。然后的“take the second place”。地道！十分的地道！直译过来是“占据了第二的位置”，不过真正的意思是“没那么重要”，但是将“But it does not mean that”和“take the second place”连起来用，就表示“这并不意味着XXXX不重要”，也就是肯定了XXXX的重要性！这个表达方法无老师强烈建议各位考友们学过去！绝对是令人眼前一亮的表达！
2011年06月
作文巨讲堂！还是作文巨讲堂！只有作文巨讲堂才能救作文！在口语和作文这两个主观题里面，从传统的分数来看中国学生短时间内要想突破，还是选在作文这一项比较现实。但是，现实情况是，新托福考试很丰满，但是我们的作文很骨感。绝大多数考友的思维还停留在，写得更长，那么分数就会更高，以及多用一些大词，分数就会更好。简单来说，这些方法最多可以帮助你达到22分这样的分数，但是，要想取得26-28分这样令我们满意的，当然更重要的是可以弥补我们口语分数不足的这个目的，恐怕是永远都不能达到的。其说从今天的范例各位考友就能看出，托福作文的高分不一定要求句式多华丽，也不一定要求你用多少的书面语，只要你能很好的将手头的单词运用得当，完全可以帮你的拼得高分！今天这篇满分作文，就是要来演示一下，怎么用平凡的舞步画出美丽的彩虹。
无老师优秀范例：However, success depends on many conditions, such as time, hard work and luck. The list goes on and on. As one of the books by Bryan Tracy says, the success consists of 21 secrets. No matter what era one is in, one has to tries one’s best to work at right time at right place with a little luck in order to succeed. If one lives today but does take action,one will end up no where certainly.
无老师中文翻译：但是，成功取决于很多因素，比如是否有时间，是否愿意努力工作，运气是否足够好。这个单子，其实还可以很长很长。就像Bryan Tracy一本书里所说的，成功其实是包含了21个组成部分的。不管在哪一个时代，每一个人要想成功，都必须是在一个正确的时间，正确的地点，外加一点点运气，同时再加上百倍的努力才能成功。因此一个人住在今天这个不利的时代，哪怕付出全部努力，那么他将注定一事无成。
平庸范例：However, There are many factors contributed to success, such as time, work hard, and luck. This list could be very long. Just as a book writed by by Bryan Tracy says that the success involves 21 pieces. If one want to make success, no matter what time it is, they must try their best at the right time, at the right position, but also with a little luck. If a person live in this society, he could not succeed without trying one’s best.
鉴于今天的文章句式差别极小，因此今天主要分析亮点表达方法。其实如果仅比较优秀范例和平庸范例的用词的话，各位考友会发现差别不大。
如果仅说亮点词的话，优秀范例这些表达方法不错：condition，goes on and on， secret， but does take action， end up no where。
condition这个单词超简单，绝对是无人不知的单词。但是在此处，没有用到本意“环境”的意思，而是引申出“条件，因素”这层含义。相比起平庸范例的factor，就显得factor没有文采了！
再接下来的goes on and on，其实直译过来，就是“走好远好远”，这里也是引申出来，用来表示“很长”的意思。
第三个就是secret。本身是“秘密”的意思，但是在这里表达“组成因素”，但是同时，成功的特性在于，没成功之前，谁都不知道这些因素什么样子，换句话说，大多阐述自己如何成功的都是事后诸葛，都是恰巧走对了路，仅此而已。因此，从这个层面上来说，因为，这些因素在达成之前，谁都不知道是什么样子，因此，也可以被看做一层“迷”。因此，这里的这个secret，恰好表示出这层含义！虽然简单，但是精妙啊！
第四个的does take action，强调句式，显示出自己语法的丰富性，仅此而已，这种皮毛功夫，在托福考试里只能算是下脚料了。
至于最后的no where，绝对用的地道！表示“完全不可能”的意思，也就是我们常用的impossible！纯正的地道表达！一用出来，绝对令ETS批卷老师刮目相看！虽然简单，但是地道的令人发指！跟现在国人看到“宅”“腐”两字一样，立即双眼放光，马上觉得你就是自己的同类，因此岂有不加分之理？！
文章虽短，但贵在精妙！千万不可读完就弃，一定要细细把玩，直到可以随时在笔尖流淌而出才行！
2011年08月
优秀范例：Firstly, people need sturdy bodies by doing exercising, including swimming in the swimming pool or playing football on the playgrounds. To be healthy, people then can pursuit the enjoyment from the mental to appreciate art. Secondly, not all people enjoy art in fact, but all people need to do exercises. For those people who do not like art at all, they would seldom go to the art museums or music performance center. But if government builds recreational facilities, it benefits all citizens for providing places to exercise.
无老师中文翻译：首先，人们通过在游泳池游泳，或者在场地里踢足球这样的锻炼形式来获得强健的体魄。为了（心理）健康，人们还可以通过欣赏艺术品来获得精神上的愉悦。第二点，实际上并不是所有人都喜欢欣赏艺术，但是几乎所有人都需要锻炼身体。对于那些根本不喜欢艺术的人，他们几乎不回去艺术馆或者音乐厅。但是如果政府建一些娱乐设施，这将会为所有人民提供一个锻炼身体的地方。
无老师平庸范例：Firstly, Swimming in the swimming pool and playing football on the playgrounds may give people healthy body. To be healthy, enjoying the art may offer the mental pleasure. Secondly, not every one like the art, but everybody need the exercising. The people who are not favorable of the art barely enter the art museums or music performance center. However, if government builds recreational facilities, they may give the average people a place to take exercise.
无老师精析：哎，今天下手轻了一点点，因此你会感觉，优秀范例和平庸范例之间差别不熟很大。
优秀范例第1句Firstly, people need sturdy bodies by doing exercising, including swimming in the swimming pool or playing football on the playgrounds.对比平庸范例Firstly, Swimming in the swimming pool and playing football on the playgrounds may give people healthy body. 的优势是在于，用到了非谓语动词including，非谓语动词是中国考生很少涉猎的项目，但是咋爱英语里面十分常见，因此加分不少。除此之外优秀范例之中的sturdy“健壮的”也属上乘之作，美中不足是在于稍微有些冷门：P。
第2句 优秀范例写的是To be healthy, people then can pursuit the enjoyment from the mental to appreciate art.对比平庸范例To be healthy, enjoying the art may offer the mental pleasure.显然当我们想到“欣赏”的时候，enjoy是最为常见的选择，但是优秀范例里用到了appreciate，这样就不仅有“喜欢”这层含义，同时还包含了本身该有的“观摩、鉴赏”用词十分到位！然后优秀范例里的pursuit则是“追逐，追求”的意思，用在这里显示出词汇量的丰富。
第3句优秀范例告诉我们Secondly, not all people enjoy art in fact, but all people need to do exercises.平庸范例则说Secondly, not every one like the art, but everybody need the exercising.这里优秀范例的enjoy相比like会稍好一点。
第4句首先优秀范例说For those people who do not like art at all, they would seldom go to the art museums or music performance center.对比平庸范例The people who are not favorable of the art barely enter the art museums or music performance center.囧了！平庸范例写得更好。那就说说平庸范例为什么写得更好（囧啊！突然感觉逻辑性很差），平庸范例用到了固定搭配be favorable of写得不错（害羞ing），同时barely与seldom也是毫不逊色，因此，这里是平庸范例更好。
最后1句，优秀范例说But if government builds recreational facilities, it benefits all citizens for providing places to exercise.平庸范例反唇相讥However, if government builds recreational facilities, they may give the average people a place to take exercise.显然还是优秀范例的benefit，取本词的动词意思“有益于….”，而不是平时常见的名词意思，显示出用词的灵动性。因而胜出。
2011年09月
这是一个疯狂的年代，托福考试直到12月份的所有考位都没了，托福考试已经加场4场了，按照这个趋势，接下来一定还有加场。
无老师优秀作文范例：Furthermore, modern technology gives students an illusion that information and real knowledge is easy to learn – just by clicking mouse or watching videos. But in fact this forms only the first step towards useful information and effective learning, as learning of any kind requires full concentration and interactive thinking, which are almost absent in the process of popular e-learning experience.
无老师中文翻译：不仅如此，现代科技会给学生一个感觉，也就是信息和真正的知识是很简单易学的，只要通过点击鼠标，或者看录像就可以了。但是，实际上这只是获得有用知识和高效学习的第一步，因为学习任何一门知识，都需要全神贯注和深入浅出的思考，而这些又恰恰是大众网络学习过程中最欠缺的。
无老师平庸范例：Furthermore, Students think that modern technology makes the information and real knowledge very easy to learn. The only thing that you need is hitting the mouse or watching videos. But, in fact, this is just the first step of learning useful information and making the effective learning. Because if you want to learn a knowledge, you should pay attention on the full concentration, but also thinking it through, but we can not find any of these in the popular e-learning.
太艰难了，写的太艰难了。第一次发现原来满分作文翻译成中文之后，很多考友仍然都写不出来，这样就更别说写出英文了。这一次，我们《焦点访谈》-_-!!!……《无老师作文巨讲堂》就来说说这篇文章。这篇文章的来源，是前段时间无老师跟大家分享的满分作文之中的一段，无老师在这里只是加以分析而已。
首先：优秀范例告诉我们Furthermore, modern technology gives students an illusion that information and real knowledge is easy to learn。对比平庸范例的：Furthermore, Students think that modern technology makes the information and real knowledge very easy to learn.各位考友可以发现这里的illusion“幻觉”这个词用的很好，说明了后面要描述的内容看起来简单，但是实际上难度很大。这里“看起来简单”一层意思，以及“实际中难度很大”这第二层意思，不费任何的口舌，一词搞定，充分显现了笔者对于此会理解的老到！相比于平庸范例之中的think，我们就发现，think这个词只是在想，但是想的深度和广度丝毫看不出来，因此，输了第一阵！
然后优秀范例：just by clicking mouse or watching videos.本身平淡无奇，但是相比于平庸范例The only thing that you need is hitting the mouse or watching videos.这样另起一句话，顿觉得优秀范例的just by doing虽然看上去轻巧，但是实际上跟主句逻辑关系连接非常的紧密，实为上品！
第二句话，优秀范例：But in fact this forms only the first step towards useful information and effective learning,对比平庸范例But, in fact, this is just the first step of learning useful information and making the effective learning.当初看优秀范例的时候，很容易觉得forms这个词用错了，以为用的是名词词性，但是仔细一看原来用的是动词“形成”的意思，很少见！而且更有趣的是，后面写的是first step towards useful information，这里towards这个词虽然很常见，但是我们大多在阅读中见到，很少用在自己的作文里，这个词的好处就在于-ward这个后缀，给人很强的方向感，让人感觉这是一条必经之路。比起平庸范例中传统的of结构后面接“doing+宾语”结构显得很有新意。
其后优秀范例as learning of any kind requires full concentration and interactive thinking相比平庸范例Because if you want to learn a knowledge, you should pay attention on the full concentration, but also thinking it through.我们就会发现优秀范例里面的一个require不仅表达出平庸范例之中的条件从句之中的那层条件之意，还很减价的表达出，should这个词里面的“应该”那个含义。可以说这个require简洁明了，上品！不折扣！其后的优秀范例中的interactive thinking对比平庸范例的thinking it through顿显作者词汇量的丰富！
最后优秀范例中的which are almost absent in the process of popular e-learning experience.对比平庸范例but we can not find any of these in the popular e-learning.我们立即会发现，原来优秀范例中的一个which很好的把前后两句话的逻辑衔接了起来，然后接下来的一个absent表达出了平庸范例中的can not find之意，精妙！然后再接下来in the process of表示出这是一个学习的过程，使得语意非常的饱满。然后最后一个experience承接上文的full concentration and interactive thinking，真的是环环相扣，很好的表现出英文之中的逻辑关系的承接！
不可多得的好作文，大家好好研究哦！
2011年10月
无老师优秀范例：Second, technology has equipped children with professional apparatus which could finally realize their imagination. This takes from particularly as computer soft wares and applications, such as Photoshop for creating graphic design, Overture for easily composing a piece of music, 3DMax for building up a virtual world, etc.. All the softwares were never as handy as they are at present, and this world absolutely provides our children an effective tool for realizing their creativity.
无老师翻译：第二点，科技已经用很多专业化的仪器来驱动孩子的想象力，而这些专业的工具可以最终实现这些孩子们的想象力。所有的这一切都是源于计算机软件和应用的使用，比如说Photoshop就可以用来进行图像上的创作，Overture可以用来很容易的在电脑上剪辑歌曲，3DMax则可以创造一个虚拟世界。所有的这些电脑软件从没有像今天这么易用和便捷，这个世界绝对是为我们的孩子提供了一个强大的可以实现他们创造力的工具。
无老师平庸范例：Second，There are many professional tools that can offer our kids plenty of chances to make their dream happen. All of these possibilities were made by computer soft wares, such as Photoshop which may make picture design on the computer, Overture which could split and join the music on the computer, and the 3DMax which can make a virtual world. These soft wares were never as convenient as it is today, and this world really offer a powerful tool which can make their dream happen.
第一句：优秀范文，Technology has equipped children with professional apparatus which could finally realize their imagination.相比于平庸范例There are many professional tools that can offer our kids plenty of chances to make their dream happen.可以说平庸范例真的是弱爆了！平庸范例还停留在僵化的使用there be句型上。可是优秀范例的一个小equip“装备”用的非常到位，相比于我们平时的have，offer，真的是十分形象，有一种士兵被装备武器的感觉。然后再接下来的professional apparatus，显得优秀范例的作者词汇量很好，而且用一个形容词professional来进行修饰和限定，比平时单纯用good这样的词更加准确。其后，优秀范例的一个realize their imagination实现某人的想象，可以直接背下来，用于我们自己的作文之中。
第二句：This takes from particularly as computer soft wares and applications比起平庸范例All of these possibilities were made by computer soft wares.顿时显得平庸范例是那么的Chinglish！反观优秀范例，的一个takes from显得举重若轻，平时我们在写因为，或者源于……的时候，总是笨拙地用because，这里的take from则是显得很轻巧，然后的soft wares and applications则是用applications对于soft wares进行进一步的补充和说明（虽然为并列形式），显得作者说话十分的全面。
其后，优秀范例的such as Photoshop for creating graphic design, Overture for easily composing a piece of music, 3DMax for building up a virtual world, etc.相比于平庸范例such as Photoshop which may make picture design on the computer, Overture which could split and join the music on the computer, and the 3DMax which can make a virtual world. 各位考友立即就能发现，优秀范例全是用的非谓语动词的doing伴随形式，可是平庸范例还都是在用笨拙的定语从句，显得十分臃肿。具体的看，我们会发现优秀范例用到了graphic design，compose，build up这些表达方法，虽然这些次我们全都见过，但是几乎没有想过用在这些地方，这就充分显示出作者平时在阅读中的积累特别好。
最后一句话，优秀范例是All the softwares were never as handy as they are at present, and this world absolutely provides our children an effective tool for realizing their creativity.平庸范例是：These soft wares were never as convenient as it is today, and this world really offer a powerful tool which can make their dream happen.平心而论，对于中国考生来说，能用到convenient已经很不容易了，但是优秀范例里竟然用了handy方便的，以hand作为词根，说明此词有一种简单易用，甚至随手拈来的意思，用的甚妙！后面的句子，优秀范例与平庸范例差距不大。^_^
2011年11月
优秀范例：Third, technology itself is a market place where creative ideas are economically encouraged. Steve Jobs earned millions of dollars a year for his unparallel creation, and Mark Zuckberg gained his reputation for the genius social network. Therefore, technology has provided children the internal motive to develop their creativity.
In a nutshell, I still regard children as becoming increasingly creative in technology development, although it might bring minor side effect. As long as we keep a balanced mood on children enjoying the fruit of technology, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.
无老师优秀翻译：第三点，技术本身也是一个能对创意本身起到了很大的经济上促进作用的一块市场。Steve Jobs因为他无可匹敌的创意一年赚了数百万美元。Mark Zuckberg则是因为他的天才的社交网络的创意为自己赢得了巨大的声望。因此，技术本身也是为孩子们提供了一个发展自己创造力的内在动机。
总而言之，我坚持认为孩子是会随着技术的发展变得越来越有创造力，虽然有可能带来一点点负面效果。只要我们对于孩子们享受技术发展的果实抱有一个平衡的心态，技术的发展也一定为孩子们的创新做出更多的贡献。
无老师平庸范例：Third, Technology can provide a great market which encourages the creativity in the market. For instance, Steve Jobs makes lots of money in a year because of his great creativity. And Mark Zuckberg gets huge fame because he has great creation in the social network. So, Technology give an inner reason in developing their own creation.
All in all, Although technology may have some bad effects, I believe the more technology develops, the more creation that children may have. As long as we have a good attitude in the appreciation of the technologic development of children, the technology development will offer more contribution in the children’s creation.
无老师精析：
首先第一句优秀范例Third, technology itself is a market place where creative ideas are economically encouraged.比之平庸范例：Third, Technology can provide a great market which encourages the creativity in the market.其实我们很多童鞋很喜欢用定语从句，但是定语从句真的写的是很烂了，但是本句话，很有趣的用了一个where而不是which进行引导。其实从意思上来思考which是对于一个东西进行解释和说明，说明的本身也是对这个东西的一个描述，因此如果which前面这个词是一个位置或者地点的话，那么这里换用为where确是别有新意，其实本身不难，只是我们之间见得太少了。而且如果你仔细看的话，会发现这里的place也不是一个真实的地点，而是泛指交易市场，可以说作者在这里用place是有意铺垫，为后面的where做春被。然后，我们中国考生在写作文的时候，总是写得不够细，但是在本句话里面，作者用一个economically来修饰encourage，显然省略了平庸范例里面的in the market，显得更加的干练简洁。
第二句：优秀范例为Steve Jobs earned millions of dollars a year for his unparallel creation, and Mark Zuckberg gained his reputation for the genius social network.平庸范例则是For instance, Steve Jobs makes lots of money in a year because of his great creativity. And Mark Zuckberg gets huge fame because he has great creation in the social network.其实我们会发现Steve Jobs这个具体的人名出现，本身就有举例的感觉了，因此没有必要再加For instance。其次优秀范例里用了简洁的for来引导原因，而不是再用笨拙的because是的证据句子的结构更加紧凑。然后最引人注目的显然就是unparallel“无可比拟的”，其实各位考友也可以用在自己的举例之中。最后优秀范例的gained his reputation只能算是平庸之作，也就是词汇量还算好，仅此而已。不过最后用一个genius来修饰social network就显得很棒了，因为genius这个词之前我们多用名词的词性，很少还想用它来修饰其他的词，因此，这个词在这里用的不错！
第三句优秀范例：Therefore, technology has provided children the internal motive to develop their creativity.相比平庸范例So, Technology give an inner reason in developing their own creation.显然therefore会比so更书面一丁点，但也仅是一丁点。其后优秀范例的internal motive“内在动机”显得非常地道！虽然谈不上妙笔，但是在这里能想到这个词，同时能用好，可以说很不容易。
最后一段第一句优秀范例写得很棒In a nutshell, I still regard children as becoming increasingly creative in technology development, although it might bring minor side effect.对比平庸范例All in all, Although technology may have some bad effects, I believe the more technology develops, the more creation that children may have.差距非常明显！首先优秀范例的regard“考虑到”引申为“认为”的意思我们就很少用到，然后regard sb as sth一个固定搭配“认为某人怎么样”接becoming increasingly creative而不是传统的用定语从句，或者宾语从句来解决问题，显得比较新颖，而且“增加创造力”作者也没有用单纯的动宾结构increase sth来写，而是用了becoming来创造出变化的感觉，然后用increasingly显示出变化的方向，最后用creative写出变化的主体在“创造力”上，可以说与我们平时的写作习惯大相径庭！十分值得学习。而且作者还有意地将although后置，来强调凸显出前面的观点。然后“副作用”作者也很委婉的用了side effect而不是像平庸范例里用了bad effect这么直接。不仅如此，作者还用了我们平时很少用的minor来显示负面效应其实很小，显得十分书面。
最后优秀范例As long as we keep a balanced mood on children enjoying the fruit of technology, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.跟平庸范例相比As long as we have a good attitude in the appreciation of the technologic development of children, the technology development will offer more contribution in the children’s creation.作者的balanced mood“平衡的心态”显得非常的地道！忍不住有抱住亲一口的冲动！然后作者竟然想出了fruit of technology“技术的果实”来表达我们经常喜欢说的XXX的结果，相信作者写到这里的时候，被自己的想象力都感动哭了！这是赤果果的小学作文金句啊！最后作者用innovation来替代前面已经用了的无数遍的creative，显示出作者是有意的在增加自己用词的多样性。而且，作者还用到了be sure to do sth来表达应该做XXX，而不是用should或者must之流，可以说作者的阅读量还是不错的。
阿弥陀佛！11月号的作文巨讲堂就到这里了，休息，休息！^_^
2011年12月
无老师优秀范例：First and foremost, technology has provided children with easy access to scientific and liberal art resources which is their best source of inspiration. For example, children could now easily gain access to academic databases through iPad screen, read classical works on Kindle, or watch historic documents on Internet. These great works are essentially helpful to arousing their curiosity and prepares them with key knowledge necessary for any creation. However, these wonderful equipments and facilities are never as handy in the past, when kids could only reach limited resources in public libraries or schools. In this sense, technology has provided the possibility for children to be more creative.
无老师优秀翻译：第一点，技术给孩子们提供了更容易的接近科学和文学作品的机会，而这些恰好就是激发人创造能力的最好的源泉。举个例子，孩子们现在就很容易用ipad去查询学术数据库，用kindle读经典名著，亦或者是在网上读历史文件。这些伟大的发明都会激发人们的好奇心，而且还为他们进行创造做好了必要的，知识上的准备。但是，这些伟大的发明在之前是完全没有的，尤其是当孩子们被限制在公共图书馆和学校的那些有限资源里的时候。从这个角度来说，技术给孩子们提供了更具创造力的可能。
无老师平庸范例：First and foremost, the technology provides more chances to get in touch with science and writing, which are the best way of inspiring creation. For example, children could use Ipad to search academic databases, use kindle to read great books, or read history document on the internet. All these creations could inspire the curiosity, but also offer technical and sciential preparation for the creation. But all these great equipment didn’t exist in the past, especially the kids were limited resources of the public libraries and schools. So, the technology provides more creativity for the children.
无老师精析：本段内容非常好的诠释出英语本身的表达，与用中文翻译成英文之间的巨大差别。可以说，英文本身是精细化，准确化的，但是中文只要求意思表达清楚即可，可以模糊处理，这一点在本片文章中体现的非常明显。
第一句：优秀范例，First and foremost, technology has provided children with easy access to scientific and liberal art resources which is their best source of inspiration.当头一棒，同样是用provide这个表达，优秀范例用了with easy access to这个固定搭配，表达的是“更易于接触到……”但是平庸范例First and foremost, the technology provides more chances to get in touch with science and writing, which are the best way of inspiring creation.，只是用到了“provides more chances to”，让人看上去觉得很死板。其后，优秀范例当想表示“激励创新”的时候，只是轻巧的用了inspire的名词inspiration，其实就一定表达出了“激励创新”这层含义，而平庸范例，僵化的写出了inspiring creation，显得用词很生硬。
第二句，优秀范例For example, children could now easily gain access to academic databases through iPad screen, read classical works on Kindle, or watch historic documents on Internet.相比于平庸范例For example, children could use Ipad to search academic databases, use kindle to read great books, or read history document on the internet. 这里很显然，For example并不会影响人们的分数，影响水平高低的，其实是优秀范例再次拿出了access这个词，但是遇上依据不同，这一句直接将其与谓语动词gain相连，写出了gain access to，这样就显得对词汇的广度了解得很好。其后当提到databases的时候，很恰当的加入了academic对其进行限定，这与后面的提到ipad作者并没有简单的写ipad，而是对其进行进一步描述加入了screen，这里就与前面的academic一脉相承，显示出作者对于内容描述得很细致，这都是加分的环节。
第三句，优秀范例These great works are essentially helpful to arousing their curiosity and prepares them with key knowledge necessary for any creation.就更棒了这里的are essentially helpful to与with key knowledge necessary for是本句话最大的亮点。对比一下平庸范例“All these creations could inspire the curiosity, but also offer technical and sciential preparation for the creation.”显然are helpful to其实就是我们平时用的help的另一种说法，然后又用essentially表示出程度真的是相得益彰。然后with key knowledge限定出其是在“知识”上对其有“重要”的帮助，其实就是我们经常写的in the way of ……，然后necessary for其实就是我们很喜欢写的must，这样的用法十分地道，强烈建议把这句话背下来，这是典型的表达方式的不同！
下一句，优秀范例However, these wonderful equipments and facilities are never as handy in the past, when kids could only reach limited resources in public libraries or schools.对比平庸范例But all these great equipment didn’t exist in the past, especially the kids were limited resources of the public libraries and schools.主要的差别是在动词上。优秀范例的are never as handy in the past，“历史上从未出现过如此方便的……”，将as handy十分轻巧的插在句子之中，闲得很妙。但是平庸范例则是didn’t exist就显得很直白，没有丝毫的美感。然后优秀范例的后半句reach limited resources这里的reach就用得很巧妙，reach本身是“触及”的意思，但是“触及到”资源，不也就是“读到”这些资源么，这里用的有点类似于“僧推月下门”之中的“推”字，颇值得玩味。
最后一句In this sense, technology has provided the possibility for children to be more creative.用到了我们很少用到的possible的名词形式possibility，同时连带本句话后面的to be more creative，就完全避免了平庸范例So, the technology provides more creativity for the children.的provides more creativity这种僵化的形式。
语言本身很多时候是不能通过简单的词汇和语法进行拼凑的，本篇文章就是一个很好的范例。
至于2011年07月的呢？-_-!!!!忘写了...............
今天主要示范的事过于罗嗦。当无老师看过了数千篇作文之后，发现最常修改的是两种错误，第一个是主谓一致，第二个就是说话啰嗦。之所以会产生罗嗦的现象，就是因为只要你稍微从事过一点翻译，就会发现，其实语言和语言之间是不能一一直接对着翻译的。举个例子，比如说英语里有I don not think so, I know so.如果按照我们之前的翻译方式，就会发现这两句话，是完全相反的意思。但是实际上这两句话的意思是这件事情我想都不用想（在进行对话之前就已经知道答案），我知道这件事情会发生。同样的，我们在写作文的时候，其实大多数人脑中形成的都是中文，然后再用我们学过的语法知识，将这些中文转换成英文。这本身是没错的，但是问题在于我们之前学的语法都是书本上的语法，而不是实际应用的语法。什么叫做书本上的语法呢？举个中国南北方用词的例子。“掉”这个字非常有趣。北方人眼中，掉这个字只有“掉落在地上”的意思；但是在中国的南方，“掉”这个字有两层意思，一层仍然是“掉落在地上”；除此之外还有另一层意思，就是“丢了”。因此，一个南方人很沮丧的跟北方人说：“我的东西掉了”，南方人的意思是东西“丢了”。但是在北方人的眼中，“掉了”就是“掉落在地上”了，那么北方人的反应就只有一种，就是捡起来就好了^_^
今天无老师的《无老师作文巨讲堂》，很多都是谈中英间的这个问题。
无老师优秀范例：Get a life outside of work. This is vital to avoid biding your time in a job you hate. When you have an active social life outside of the office, it becomes so much easier to tolerate mundane or stressful work. A balanced life helps to keep things in perspective。
无老师中文释义：争取获得工作以外的生活 这是在你痛恨的工作中等待良机的关键。 当你在办公室以外获得了积极的社会生活，忍受平淡或充满压力的工作就变得非常容易了。和谐的生活有助于保持对事物的洞察力。
无老师平庸示例：Get a job which is out of your work. This is the key to wait the good chance when you are in the work which you do not like. when you get a positive life outside your office, it is much easy to bear boring and stressed work. A harmonious life could help you look throught your life.
这个非常第一句（the very first one，体会出中英间不能对译了吧^_^）优秀范例中用的是Get a life outside of work.但是在平庸示例中写的是Get a job which is out of your work.很显然平庸范例用了我们中国童鞋们很喜欢用的定语从句，但是实际上，这句话本来就可以用很简短的方式Get a life outside of work.进行表达。平庸示例之中貌似是将句子拉长了，但是实际上，写的笨拙拖沓，没有灵性。
其后，优秀范例 This is vital to avoid biding your time in a job you hate.而平庸范例：This is the key to wait the good chance when you are in the work which you do not like.。首先vital比key用得更加的书面化。接下来bit一词，意思是 vi.投标 vt.出(价)，用在此句的意思是“将……投入”用得十分的形象，堪称妙笔！其后顺势甩出2词，you hate，简洁有力，相比平庸范例中的which you do not like.显得更加的给力^_^
第三句：优秀范例When you have an active social life outside of the office, it becomes so much easier to tolerate mundane or stressful work.而平庸范例写的是when you get a positive life outside your office, it is much easy to bear boring and stressed work.优秀范例中active相比于平庸范例的positive只能说稍胜一筹。active是“主动的”，相比与“正面的”含义只显稍微精确。不过接下来的tolerate mundane or stressful写的就好很多。因为平庸范例中用的是bear，一个很口语化的词，但是tolerate显得更加书面化。其后的mundane则是完胜boring，因为mundane的意思是“世俗的”，本词彰显作者超脱的身份！绝不是庶民口中常用的boring可比的。
最后一句，优秀范例写的是A balanced life helps to keep things in perspective.相比起A harmonious life could help you look throught your life.我们马上就发现balanced中文被翻译成和谐，于是平庸示例中也就用了harmonious。但是优秀示例中的“和谐”具体指的是一种由于“平衡”而得到的舒服生活，显得十分的具体，相比起平庸范例中空洞泛泛的“和谐”写得更为准确。然后再加下来“保持对事物的洞察力”优秀范例中写的是“让我们每个人从自己不同，而且不受影响的角度来看待问题”，但是平庸范例中，只是说要“看透生活”，但是怎么看透，却无从谈起，这就是为什么优秀范例 keep things in perspective更好一些。
话不在多，有魂则灵。文章虽然短小，但是用词间的细微差别，才是真显一个人英语水平高低，同时也体现在最后的托福分数上。无老师的作文巨讲堂是一个常年连载的，要想迅速提高自己的作文，建议把之前的也都看看哦^_^
2011年02月
奉天承运，老无诏曰。无老师作文巨讲堂再次开启！上次作文巨讲堂还是在农历新年之前，无老师的作文巨讲堂系列给您拜年了！
话说这作文的高低，初级看语法水平，高级看遣词造句！现在NBA赛场“给力芬”一次，就把格里芬如下山猛虎的暴扣描述的一览无遗！这就是用词恰到好处的价值！虽然先托福考试对于用词的要求还打不到这个层次，但是佳句偶得总是令人愉悦的。什么是好句子？“轻舟已过万重山”，就是好句子，你如果写成“一个木舟开过了1万公里了！”就显得既没有画面感，也没有冲击力。
跟各位聊聊怎么把自己的句子改为“轻舟已过万重山”这样的好句子，就是无老师作文巨讲堂的目的所在。废话不多说，主菜上桌喽O(∩_∩)O~！
优秀范例：There are two halves to achieving a new reality: You must have time to dream, and you must take action. Give yourself time for creative visualization daily. Note ideas that come, and keep a record of these. Make a rule that you spend X amount of time daily taking action on your dreams. Artists produce artwork. Authors write. If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream。
普通范例：If you want to make a achievement, there are two parts you have to do: You must have time to make a dream, and you must make a movement. You should have time to make a visualization every day. You must think about it and make a note of them. You should make a rule that you should make some time every day to make your dream real. If you are an artist, you should make an artistic production. If you are a writer, you should write something. If you do not do any thing, the dream will never come ture.
中文译文：要想完成一种新的成就是由两个部分决定的：你必须有时间梦想，你必须采取行动。给自己时间，创造形象化的每一天。关注并记录下出现的想法。形成每天花若干时间采取实现梦想的行动的习惯。艺术家创作艺术作品。作家写作品。如果你不采取行动，就不会实现梦想。
咱们首先看好句There are two halves to achieving a new reality用的halve一词，用的是在精妙，这个词的意思是“将…二等分; 平分”此处当做名词来使用，恰好的表示了需要，而且仅需要2部分之意。但是如果你仅用平庸句子If you want to make a achievement, there are two parts you have to do之中的part，那么读者并不知道到底有多少个部分，也须有3部分，或许有5部分，但是你只说了2部分。这就是优秀句子用词更准确。然后优秀句子里面把“让梦想成真”直接翻译为achieving a new reality简洁清晰用new直接修饰reality，相比于平庸句子want to make a achievement显得用词更灵活。
然后优秀句子You must have time to dream, and you must take action.相比于平庸句子You must have time to make a dream, and you must make a movement.贫僧认为优势并不明显，可以说不分伯仲。
接下来优秀范例之中写到Give yourself time for creative visualization daily.比之平庸范例的You should have time to make a visualization every day.就好多了。虽然优秀范例只是用的祈使句，这样显得过于口语化，但是后面的creative visualization daily写得很棒。因为visualization动词转化为名词，本身就有“使之形象化”之意，因此不用再像平庸范例里一样加入一个make。然后后面的daily相比于every day的表示方式，就好像同样说闹心，优秀范例用的是“微微的忧郁”，平庸范例就说：“新买的白球鞋，被人踩了”^_^
后面优秀范例写的是：Note ideas that come, and keep a record of these.平庸例子是You must think about it and make a note of them.也是分不出高低。
后面Make a rule that you spend X amount of time daily taking action on your dreams.与平庸范例You should make a rule that you should make some time every day to make your dream real.相比，其实差别也就在于daily的用法，前面已经讲过，不再赘述。
然后呢呢呢呢……贫尼认为优秀范例Artists produce artwork. Authors write. If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream.比起平庸范例If you are an artist, you should make an artistic production. If you are a writer, you should write something.差别也就在于Author与writer的差别，可以说Author更正式，writer则是write转化而来，显不得你的单词量的广博，因此Author更好。
最后的If you are not taking action, you will not achieve your dream.和If you do not do any thing, the dream will never come ture.也是竹竿打水平平过，分不出高低呀！
今天的无老师作文巨讲堂差别主要体现在用词上，筒子们好好体会哦HOHOHO！O(∩_∩)O~
2011年03月
无老师优秀范例：Nevertheless, it would not work either if everybody just keep to themselves without communicating. It is also essential for roommates to share their experiences with one another and thus get close in their relationship. In this case, a good sense of humor can be a such a valuable quality as a single joke may break the silence and open up a nice conversation.
无老师中文释义：但是，如果每个人都与外界封闭的话，其实幽默也是没用的。室友之间就该分享他们的经验，这样才能拉近彼此之间的关系。在这种情况下，幽默感，就是一个很重要的品质，比如一个笑话就有可能打破长久以来的沉默，让大家立即活跃起来。
无老师平庸示例：But, if we do not connect with the world， humor is not useful. Roommates should share their experiences, and these will make their relationship closer. In this condition, humor is a very important quality. for example, a joke may break the silence, and make everyone very happy.
无老师分析：本篇文章是一篇满分作文的作者考前的作文，可以说为我们确立了一个很好的练习标准。只要我们能达到这个水平，那么你就是满分作文。急急如律令，作文上！
首先看优秀范例的“Nevertheless, it would not work either if everybody just keep to themselves without communicating.”和平庸范例“But, if we do not connect with the world， humor is not useful.”
Nevertheless这个词真的是文学范，怎么看都显着单词量就是大学生级别的。接下来再看优秀范例里面将either if这个从句放在句子后面，防止了头重脚轻。平庸范例里面当说到起作用的时候，毫不出人意料的用了useful，但是在优秀范例里面则用了很地道的“would not work”可以说，从语法上来说，谁都没错，但是用would not work更符合英语的表达习惯。然后再接下来，“与外界封闭”平庸范例里用了 do not connect ，看上去貌似还好，但是看到优秀范例里用了“keep to themselves without communicating”，就该知道自己败了，而且是失败的那么彻底！keep+without communicating写的就是那么正式和庄重。真的不是一个水准的！
接下来一句话，优秀范例里写到“It is also essential for roommates to share their experiences with one another and thus get close in their relationship.”平庸范例则说“Roommates should share their experiences, and these will make their relationship closer.”
显然优秀范例上来就打破了我们的一个习惯表达，就是我们总喜欢用should，但是实际上我们可以换用更书面的is essential for/to。然后优秀范例马上用了一个逻辑上的顺承连接and thus，同时借用前半句话的主语，直接写出来get close in their relationship。小小的get close，可以说用得巧妙，但是平庸范例里面的make …..close则是太习以为常的，当我们常用的“使得……”的时候，常用的“make …..”这里我们可以学到的，就是get close这个固定搭配和“使得某东西”这个某东西，我们可以用“in the …..”来表达。
最后，优秀范例写的是“In this case, a good sense of humor can be a such a valuable quality as a single joke may break the silence and open up a nice conversation.”。平庸范例写的是“In this condition, humor is a very important quality. for example, a joke may break the silence, and make everyone very happy.”
可以说平庸范例的In this condition也没什么错，但是在英语里，表达“在这种情况下”常用的表达就是“In this case”，这就是固定搭配，该记住的。接下来差别就大了！优秀范例，很地道的写出了“a good sense of humor”表明humor是一个很重要的“能力”加入了good这个正向暗示的单词，可是平庸范例只写了humor，并没有明确的指向好还是不好。然后优秀范例马上又用了valuable来形容quality，不仅指出这是一个好的quality，同时也显示了自己过硬的单词量。同时用了such as中间夹带“大类”，然后as后面放具体的例子的灵动的表达放，就是“such a valuable quality as a single joke ”，如果是我们自己写的话，经常写的是“a valuable quality such as a single joke”。一对比，就能看出优秀范例写得多精彩，自然比平庸范例的“a very important quality”高出2个档次！
最后，优秀范例写的是“open up a nice conversation”，前面的动词也很灵动的用了open up想想我们自己很有可能用的就是make或者have，就能看出优秀范例的作者的写作能力之强。同时，优秀范例后面一个nice来描述conversation，再一比较平庸范例的“make everyone very happy”就知道初级水平比的是用动词，高级水平比的是用名词！一个“nice conversation”本身不就是使人happy的么。我们平庸范例的happy又用的土了。
梦里寻他千百度，蓦然回首那人却在无老师指点处！
2011年04月
无老师优秀范例：With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on. There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities. I disagree with this opinion.
无老师中文翻译：随着现代人生活标准越来越高，休闲活动对我们来说变得越来越重要了，比如说，逛博物馆，欣赏音乐会，亦或者和朋友去游泳。政府应该对于公众活动有补贴，但是另一些人则认为政府应该将钱投入到艺术馆和音乐厅，而不是投到娱乐设施上。我不同意这个观点。
无老师平庸范例：When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends. The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things. I do not agree with this opinion.
本次的优秀范本原型，是一篇30分托福作文满分考友的习作，学习价值，空前绝后！加牛！！！
不过，-_-！！！无老师这次真的是出手重了一点，平庸范例写完估计幼儿园的小盆友看完都会吐血不止。
无老师精析：当然又是先请出优秀范例：With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.然后从卫生间马桶里找出来平庸范例：When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends.
With the improvement of living standard of modern people，“伴随着…”，想一想，其实很多考友很少用“伴随着”这个表达方式，那么各位考友常用的是什么呢？就是“当….时候”吗，但是实际上，在英语里，就是该用with的这个伴随状态。这就是前几天无老师微博里写的：“优秀的作文不是将中文一对一的翻译成英文，而是要用英语去表达自己的意思”，就是这个意思。
然后接下来，improvement，想一想各位考友最常用的就是他的动词的状态，但是实际上书面语中，只要各位考友注意就会发现，经常故意用这个动词的名词性形式，来表示动词的意思，这个一定是各位考友该学的！然后接下来，“生活标准”用level就不好了，这篇优秀范文中用的是standard，不过其实如果换成quality则更为地道！
leisure activities become more and more important for them，这个部分，则是赤果果的在秀自己的词汇量，没设么可讲的。当然，微博里的一位考友问了more and more important就一定是低分的保证么？很显然不是！这篇满分托福作文就是一个很好的例证。
其后，优秀范例的such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.跟平庸范例一样，没什么可讲的。
第二句，就是一个超长的句子“There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities.”对比平庸范例”The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things.“
优秀范例的There is no doubt that，直译过来是“不可否认”的意思，不过实际上，国内各位考友经常在表达这个意思的时候，直接简单的用Some people think吗！看到这里的时候，无老师相信很多考友一定会心的一笑，O(∩_∩)O~，自己也知道在什么时候换用了。接下来subsidies则是又一次秀了单词量，没什么可解释的。至于“public activities”很显然public谁都会写，但是用activities来表示“活动”则是各位考友该记在自己的小本子里了。
其后，优秀范例的“some people argue”很多考友则认为是“很多人争论”，其实你大错特错了，这里的argue应该是“认为”的意思，因此，以后想用think的时候，是不是该停手，思考一下，马上换为“argue”了^_^。
然后接下来，一个超长的more…than…句型，而平庸范例里写的是“…, but…”怎么样，顿感自己像平庸范例里那个句子有多中式英语了吧：P，然后优秀范例用to do…和to do…进行连接，其实我们在写自己的作文的时候，也就是用do something了吗。
然后同样是“花钱”，优秀范例仅用了一个spend，然后后面分别用了两个to do something，直接搞定，超级简洁！其后的“art museums”，“music performance center”和“recreational facilities”分别对应我们经常写的“museums”“center”和“rest things”，怎么样什么感觉，直接吐血外，加拿小本默默地记下来了吧^_^
and the very lastO(∩_∩)O~，怎么样，又学了一个用法吧。最后一句的disagree远比平庸范例的do not agree简洁得多。
其实从中式英语到地道英语，只是一层膜，一捅即破。关键是看你是否真的用心去积累^_^如何从中式英语变地道英语，尽在无老师作文巨讲堂哦^_^！
2011年05月
2011年5月的无老师作文巨讲堂又来了。本段文章还是书接上次的那篇满分作文，务必要做到把这篇满分作文细细的分析透才可罢休。这篇30分的作文，真的是唱作俱佳，德艺双馨^_^，貌似这是郭德纲老师的标准。其实当各位考生准备托福作文的时候，最难的不是去练，也不是去模仿。其实最难的是缺乏一个标准，不知道写到什么程度才算是高分的作文。这才是限制广大考生的最关键的瓶颈。也就是为什么很多考生能考到20分，甚至23分，但是从此以后就很难再进一步提升，就是这个原因。希望无老师对这篇文章的分析，能够对各位考友有所启发，找到通向高分作文的路径^_^
无老师优秀范例：Firstly, art museums and music performance center is no more important than recreational facilities. Admittedly, art museums and music performance is of great importance. Confucius, greatest Chinese philosopher, commented, “Art helps a person gets a better life.” To go to art museums to appreciate those art works and to go the music performance center to listen to symphony help people get improvement in mental life. But it does not mean that recreational facilities take the second place.
无老师中文翻译：第一点，艺术馆和音乐厅远比不上娱乐设施重要。我们必须承认，艺术馆和音乐厅也是有其自身的价值的。孔子，一个伟大的中国的哲学家，就曾经说过：“艺术会赋予人更愉悦的生活”。去艺术馆欣赏艺术品，和去音乐厅聆听交响乐可以帮助我们改善自己的精神世界。但这并不意味着娱乐设施就没有艺术馆和音乐厅重要。
无老师平庸示例：First, recreational facilities are more important than art museums and music performance center. We believe art museums and music performance center values a lot. Confucius, greatest Chinese philosopher, said art may give more pleasure. Watching art in the art museums, and Listening the music in the music performance center can improve our spirit world. But it does not mean recreational facilities is less improtant than art museums and music performance center.
无老师精析：优秀范例先来：Firstly, art museums and music performance center is no more important than recreational facilities.对比平庸范例First, recreational facilities are more important than art museums and music performance center.
很显然，其差别就在于优秀范例其实是将正话反说，也就是我们平时习惯于写A is more important than B.但是优秀范例故意写为B is no important than A.正话反说，凸显自己的表达方式的多样化。^_^
之后的优秀范例：Admittedly, art museums and music performance is of great importance.强势PK平庸范例的We believe art museums and music performance center values a lot.
可以说优秀范例里的Admittedly写得很漂亮，凸显自己的词汇量，中国学生很少这么用。不过，其实平庸范例里面的values a lot也可以算是一个小亮点。
至于之后的Confucius, greatest Chinese philosopher其实这本身是个亮点，至于之后的“Art helps a person gets a better life.”和 said art may give more pleasure.都算是平庸水平。
然后优秀范例是： To go to art museums to appreciate those art works and to go the music performance center to listen to symphony help people get improvement in mental life.对比平庸范例的Watching art in the art museums, and Listening the music in the music performance center can improve our spirit world.
显然优秀范例的几个点还是不错的，分别是appreciate，symphony和improvement in mental life。可以说主要是显示自己的用词的准确性。什么叫做准确性呢，其实就是，当你想说听“贝多芬的交响曲”，你写的是Beethoven – Symphonies而不是music，就是用词准确。
当然本段最大的亮点，就是优秀范例的最后一句话“But it does not mean that recreational facilities take the second place. ”首先，“But it does not mean that”这个表达方法“这并不意味着”专门用来表示否定，中国考生就很少会用到，这个是该记在本子上的^_^。然后的“take the second place”。地道！十分的地道！直译过来是“占据了第二的位置”，不过真正的意思是“没那么重要”，但是将“But it does not mean that”和“take the second place”连起来用，就表示“这并不意味着XXXX不重要”，也就是肯定了XXXX的重要性！这个表达方法无老师强烈建议各位考友们学过去！绝对是令人眼前一亮的表达！
2011年06月
作文巨讲堂！还是作文巨讲堂！只有作文巨讲堂才能救作文！在口语和作文这两个主观题里面，从传统的分数来看中国学生短时间内要想突破，还是选在作文这一项比较现实。但是，现实情况是，新托福考试很丰满，但是我们的作文很骨感。绝大多数考友的思维还停留在，写得更长，那么分数就会更高，以及多用一些大词，分数就会更好。简单来说，这些方法最多可以帮助你达到22分这样的分数，但是，要想取得26-28分这样令我们满意的，当然更重要的是可以弥补我们口语分数不足的这个目的，恐怕是永远都不能达到的。其说从今天的范例各位考友就能看出，托福作文的高分不一定要求句式多华丽，也不一定要求你用多少的书面语，只要你能很好的将手头的单词运用得当，完全可以帮你的拼得高分！今天这篇满分作文，就是要来演示一下，怎么用平凡的舞步画出美丽的彩虹。
无老师优秀范例：However, success depends on many conditions, such as time, hard work and luck. The list goes on and on. As one of the books by Bryan Tracy says, the success consists of 21 secrets. No matter what era one is in, one has to tries one’s best to work at right time at right place with a little luck in order to succeed. If one lives today but does take action,one will end up no where certainly.
无老师中文翻译：但是，成功取决于很多因素，比如是否有时间，是否愿意努力工作，运气是否足够好。这个单子，其实还可以很长很长。就像Bryan Tracy一本书里所说的，成功其实是包含了21个组成部分的。不管在哪一个时代，每一个人要想成功，都必须是在一个正确的时间，正确的地点，外加一点点运气，同时再加上百倍的努力才能成功。因此一个人住在今天这个不利的时代，哪怕付出全部努力，那么他将注定一事无成。
平庸范例：However, There are many factors contributed to success, such as time, work hard, and luck. This list could be very long. Just as a book writed by by Bryan Tracy says that the success involves 21 pieces. If one want to make success, no matter what time it is, they must try their best at the right time, at the right position, but also with a little luck. If a person live in this society, he could not succeed without trying one’s best.
鉴于今天的文章句式差别极小，因此今天主要分析亮点表达方法。其实如果仅比较优秀范例和平庸范例的用词的话，各位考友会发现差别不大。
如果仅说亮点词的话，优秀范例这些表达方法不错：condition，goes on and on， secret， but does take action， end up no where。
condition这个单词超简单，绝对是无人不知的单词。但是在此处，没有用到本意“环境”的意思，而是引申出“条件，因素”这层含义。相比起平庸范例的factor，就显得factor没有文采了！
再接下来的goes on and on，其实直译过来，就是“走好远好远”，这里也是引申出来，用来表示“很长”的意思。
第三个就是secret。本身是“秘密”的意思，但是在这里表达“组成因素”，但是同时，成功的特性在于，没成功之前，谁都不知道这些因素什么样子，换句话说，大多阐述自己如何成功的都是事后诸葛，都是恰巧走对了路，仅此而已。因此，从这个层面上来说，因为，这些因素在达成之前，谁都不知道是什么样子，因此，也可以被看做一层“迷”。因此，这里的这个secret，恰好表示出这层含义！虽然简单，但是精妙啊！
第四个的does take action，强调句式，显示出自己语法的丰富性，仅此而已，这种皮毛功夫，在托福考试里只能算是下脚料了。
至于最后的no where，绝对用的地道！表示“完全不可能”的意思，也就是我们常用的impossible！纯正的地道表达！一用出来，绝对令ETS批卷老师刮目相看！虽然简单，但是地道的令人发指！跟现在国人看到“宅”“腐”两字一样，立即双眼放光，马上觉得你就是自己的同类，因此岂有不加分之理？！
文章虽短，但贵在精妙！千万不可读完就弃，一定要细细把玩，直到可以随时在笔尖流淌而出才行！
2011年08月
优秀范例：Firstly, people need sturdy bodies by doing exercising, including swimming in the swimming pool or playing football on the playgrounds. To be healthy, people then can pursuit the enjoyment from the mental to appreciate art. Secondly, not all people enjoy art in fact, but all people need to do exercises. For those people who do not like art at all, they would seldom go to the art museums or music performance center. But if government builds recreational facilities, it benefits all citizens for providing places to exercise.
无老师中文翻译：首先，人们通过在游泳池游泳，或者在场地里踢足球这样的锻炼形式来获得强健的体魄。为了（心理）健康，人们还可以通过欣赏艺术品来获得精神上的愉悦。第二点，实际上并不是所有人都喜欢欣赏艺术，但是几乎所有人都需要锻炼身体。对于那些根本不喜欢艺术的人，他们几乎不回去艺术馆或者音乐厅。但是如果政府建一些娱乐设施，这将会为所有人民提供一个锻炼身体的地方。
无老师平庸范例：Firstly, Swimming in the swimming pool and playing football on the playgrounds may give people healthy body. To be healthy, enjoying the art may offer the mental pleasure. Secondly, not every one like the art, but everybody need the exercising. The people who are not favorable of the art barely enter the art museums or music performance center. However, if government builds recreational facilities, they may give the average people a place to take exercise.
无老师精析：哎，今天下手轻了一点点，因此你会感觉，优秀范例和平庸范例之间差别不熟很大。
优秀范例第1句Firstly, people need sturdy bodies by doing exercising, including swimming in the swimming pool or playing football on the playgrounds.对比平庸范例Firstly, Swimming in the swimming pool and playing football on the playgrounds may give people healthy body. 的优势是在于，用到了非谓语动词including，非谓语动词是中国考生很少涉猎的项目，但是咋爱英语里面十分常见，因此加分不少。除此之外优秀范例之中的sturdy“健壮的”也属上乘之作，美中不足是在于稍微有些冷门：P。
第2句 优秀范例写的是To be healthy, people then can pursuit the enjoyment from the mental to appreciate art.对比平庸范例To be healthy, enjoying the art may offer the mental pleasure.显然当我们想到“欣赏”的时候，enjoy是最为常见的选择，但是优秀范例里用到了appreciate，这样就不仅有“喜欢”这层含义，同时还包含了本身该有的“观摩、鉴赏”用词十分到位！然后优秀范例里的pursuit则是“追逐，追求”的意思，用在这里显示出词汇量的丰富。
第3句优秀范例告诉我们Secondly, not all people enjoy art in fact, but all people need to do exercises.平庸范例则说Secondly, not every one like the art, but everybody need the exercising.这里优秀范例的enjoy相比like会稍好一点。
第4句首先优秀范例说For those people who do not like art at all, they would seldom go to the art museums or music performance center.对比平庸范例The people who are not favorable of the art barely enter the art museums or music performance center.囧了！平庸范例写得更好。那就说说平庸范例为什么写得更好（囧啊！突然感觉逻辑性很差），平庸范例用到了固定搭配be favorable of写得不错（害羞ing），同时barely与seldom也是毫不逊色，因此，这里是平庸范例更好。
最后1句，优秀范例说But if government builds recreational facilities, it benefits all citizens for providing places to exercise.平庸范例反唇相讥However, if government builds recreational facilities, they may give the average people a place to take exercise.显然还是优秀范例的benefit，取本词的动词意思“有益于….”，而不是平时常见的名词意思，显示出用词的灵动性。因而胜出。
2011年09月
这是一个疯狂的年代，托福考试直到12月份的所有考位都没了，托福考试已经加场4场了，按照这个趋势，接下来一定还有加场。
无老师优秀作文范例：Furthermore, modern technology gives students an illusion that information and real knowledge is easy to learn – just by clicking mouse or watching videos. But in fact this forms only the first step towards useful information and effective learning, as learning of any kind requires full concentration and interactive thinking, which are almost absent in the process of popular e-learning experience.
无老师中文翻译：不仅如此，现代科技会给学生一个感觉，也就是信息和真正的知识是很简单易学的，只要通过点击鼠标，或者看录像就可以了。但是，实际上这只是获得有用知识和高效学习的第一步，因为学习任何一门知识，都需要全神贯注和深入浅出的思考，而这些又恰恰是大众网络学习过程中最欠缺的。
无老师平庸范例：Furthermore, Students think that modern technology makes the information and real knowledge very easy to learn. The only thing that you need is hitting the mouse or watching videos. But, in fact, this is just the first step of learning useful information and making the effective learning. Because if you want to learn a knowledge, you should pay attention on the full concentration, but also thinking it through, but we can not find any of these in the popular e-learning.
太艰难了，写的太艰难了。第一次发现原来满分作文翻译成中文之后，很多考友仍然都写不出来，这样就更别说写出英文了。这一次，我们《焦点访谈》-_-!!!……《无老师作文巨讲堂》就来说说这篇文章。这篇文章的来源，是前段时间无老师跟大家分享的满分作文之中的一段，无老师在这里只是加以分析而已。
首先：优秀范例告诉我们Furthermore, modern technology gives students an illusion that information and real knowledge is easy to learn。对比平庸范例的：Furthermore, Students think that modern technology makes the information and real knowledge very easy to learn.各位考友可以发现这里的illusion“幻觉”这个词用的很好，说明了后面要描述的内容看起来简单，但是实际上难度很大。这里“看起来简单”一层意思，以及“实际中难度很大”这第二层意思，不费任何的口舌，一词搞定，充分显现了笔者对于此会理解的老到！相比于平庸范例之中的think，我们就发现，think这个词只是在想，但是想的深度和广度丝毫看不出来，因此，输了第一阵！
然后优秀范例：just by clicking mouse or watching videos.本身平淡无奇，但是相比于平庸范例The only thing that you need is hitting the mouse or watching videos.这样另起一句话，顿觉得优秀范例的just by doing虽然看上去轻巧，但是实际上跟主句逻辑关系连接非常的紧密，实为上品！
第二句话，优秀范例：But in fact this forms only the first step towards useful information and effective learning,对比平庸范例But, in fact, this is just the first step of learning useful information and making the effective learning.当初看优秀范例的时候，很容易觉得forms这个词用错了，以为用的是名词词性，但是仔细一看原来用的是动词“形成”的意思，很少见！而且更有趣的是，后面写的是first step towards useful information，这里towards这个词虽然很常见，但是我们大多在阅读中见到，很少用在自己的作文里，这个词的好处就在于-ward这个后缀，给人很强的方向感，让人感觉这是一条必经之路。比起平庸范例中传统的of结构后面接“doing+宾语”结构显得很有新意。
其后优秀范例as learning of any kind requires full concentration and interactive thinking相比平庸范例Because if you want to learn a knowledge, you should pay attention on the full concentration, but also thinking it through.我们就会发现优秀范例里面的一个require不仅表达出平庸范例之中的条件从句之中的那层条件之意，还很减价的表达出，should这个词里面的“应该”那个含义。可以说这个require简洁明了，上品！不折扣！其后的优秀范例中的interactive thinking对比平庸范例的thinking it through顿显作者词汇量的丰富！
最后优秀范例中的which are almost absent in the process of popular e-learning experience.对比平庸范例but we can not find any of these in the popular e-learning.我们立即会发现，原来优秀范例中的一个which很好的把前后两句话的逻辑衔接了起来，然后接下来的一个absent表达出了平庸范例中的can not find之意，精妙！然后再接下来in the process of表示出这是一个学习的过程，使得语意非常的饱满。然后最后一个experience承接上文的full concentration and interactive thinking，真的是环环相扣，很好的表现出英文之中的逻辑关系的承接！
不可多得的好作文，大家好好研究哦！
2011年10月
无老师优秀范例：Second, technology has equipped children with professional apparatus which could finally realize their imagination. This takes from particularly as computer soft wares and applications, such as Photoshop for creating graphic design, Overture for easily composing a piece of music, 3DMax for building up a virtual world, etc.. All the softwares were never as handy as they are at present, and this world absolutely provides our children an effective tool for realizing their creativity.
无老师翻译：第二点，科技已经用很多专业化的仪器来驱动孩子的想象力，而这些专业的工具可以最终实现这些孩子们的想象力。所有的这一切都是源于计算机软件和应用的使用，比如说Photoshop就可以用来进行图像上的创作，Overture可以用来很容易的在电脑上剪辑歌曲，3DMax则可以创造一个虚拟世界。所有的这些电脑软件从没有像今天这么易用和便捷，这个世界绝对是为我们的孩子提供了一个强大的可以实现他们创造力的工具。
无老师平庸范例：Second，There are many professional tools that can offer our kids plenty of chances to make their dream happen. All of these possibilities were made by computer soft wares, such as Photoshop which may make picture design on the computer, Overture which could split and join the music on the computer, and the 3DMax which can make a virtual world. These soft wares were never as convenient as it is today, and this world really offer a powerful tool which can make their dream happen.
第一句：优秀范文，Technology has equipped children with professional apparatus which could finally realize their imagination.相比于平庸范例There are many professional tools that can offer our kids plenty of chances to make their dream happen.可以说平庸范例真的是弱爆了！平庸范例还停留在僵化的使用there be句型上。可是优秀范例的一个小equip“装备”用的非常到位，相比于我们平时的have，offer，真的是十分形象，有一种士兵被装备武器的感觉。然后再接下来的professional apparatus，显得优秀范例的作者词汇量很好，而且用一个形容词professional来进行修饰和限定，比平时单纯用good这样的词更加准确。其后，优秀范例的一个realize their imagination实现某人的想象，可以直接背下来，用于我们自己的作文之中。
第二句：This takes from particularly as computer soft wares and applications比起平庸范例All of these possibilities were made by computer soft wares.顿时显得平庸范例是那么的Chinglish！反观优秀范例，的一个takes from显得举重若轻，平时我们在写因为，或者源于……的时候，总是笨拙地用because，这里的take from则是显得很轻巧，然后的soft wares and applications则是用applications对于soft wares进行进一步的补充和说明（虽然为并列形式），显得作者说话十分的全面。
其后，优秀范例的such as Photoshop for creating graphic design, Overture for easily composing a piece of music, 3DMax for building up a virtual world, etc.相比于平庸范例such as Photoshop which may make picture design on the computer, Overture which could split and join the music on the computer, and the 3DMax which can make a virtual world. 各位考友立即就能发现，优秀范例全是用的非谓语动词的doing伴随形式，可是平庸范例还都是在用笨拙的定语从句，显得十分臃肿。具体的看，我们会发现优秀范例用到了graphic design，compose，build up这些表达方法，虽然这些次我们全都见过，但是几乎没有想过用在这些地方，这就充分显示出作者平时在阅读中的积累特别好。
最后一句话，优秀范例是All the softwares were never as handy as they are at present, and this world absolutely provides our children an effective tool for realizing their creativity.平庸范例是：These soft wares were never as convenient as it is today, and this world really offer a powerful tool which can make their dream happen.平心而论，对于中国考生来说，能用到convenient已经很不容易了，但是优秀范例里竟然用了handy方便的，以hand作为词根，说明此词有一种简单易用，甚至随手拈来的意思，用的甚妙！后面的句子，优秀范例与平庸范例差距不大。^_^
2011年11月
优秀范例：Third, technology itself is a market place where creative ideas are economically encouraged. Steve Jobs earned millions of dollars a year for his unparallel creation, and Mark Zuckberg gained his reputation for the genius social network. Therefore, technology has provided children the internal motive to develop their creativity.
In a nutshell, I still regard children as becoming increasingly creative in technology development, although it might bring minor side effect. As long as we keep a balanced mood on children enjoying the fruit of technology, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.
无老师优秀翻译：第三点，技术本身也是一个能对创意本身起到了很大的经济上促进作用的一块市场。Steve Jobs因为他无可匹敌的创意一年赚了数百万美元。Mark Zuckberg则是因为他的天才的社交网络的创意为自己赢得了巨大的声望。因此，技术本身也是为孩子们提供了一个发展自己创造力的内在动机。
总而言之，我坚持认为孩子是会随着技术的发展变得越来越有创造力，虽然有可能带来一点点负面效果。只要我们对于孩子们享受技术发展的果实抱有一个平衡的心态，技术的发展也一定为孩子们的创新做出更多的贡献。
无老师平庸范例：Third, Technology can provide a great market which encourages the creativity in the market. For instance, Steve Jobs makes lots of money in a year because of his great creativity. And Mark Zuckberg gets huge fame because he has great creation in the social network. So, Technology give an inner reason in developing their own creation.
All in all, Although technology may have some bad effects, I believe the more technology develops, the more creation that children may have. As long as we have a good attitude in the appreciation of the technologic development of children, the technology development will offer more contribution in the children’s creation.
无老师精析：
首先第一句优秀范例Third, technology itself is a market place where creative ideas are economically encouraged.比之平庸范例：Third, Technology can provide a great market which encourages the creativity in the market.其实我们很多童鞋很喜欢用定语从句，但是定语从句真的写的是很烂了，但是本句话，很有趣的用了一个where而不是which进行引导。其实从意思上来思考which是对于一个东西进行解释和说明，说明的本身也是对这个东西的一个描述，因此如果which前面这个词是一个位置或者地点的话，那么这里换用为where确是别有新意，其实本身不难，只是我们之间见得太少了。而且如果你仔细看的话，会发现这里的place也不是一个真实的地点，而是泛指交易市场，可以说作者在这里用place是有意铺垫，为后面的where做春被。然后，我们中国考生在写作文的时候，总是写得不够细，但是在本句话里面，作者用一个economically来修饰encourage，显然省略了平庸范例里面的in the market，显得更加的干练简洁。
第二句：优秀范例为Steve Jobs earned millions of dollars a year for his unparallel creation, and Mark Zuckberg gained his reputation for the genius social network.平庸范例则是For instance, Steve Jobs makes lots of money in a year because of his great creativity. And Mark Zuckberg gets huge fame because he has great creation in the social network.其实我们会发现Steve Jobs这个具体的人名出现，本身就有举例的感觉了，因此没有必要再加For instance。其次优秀范例里用了简洁的for来引导原因，而不是再用笨拙的because是的证据句子的结构更加紧凑。然后最引人注目的显然就是unparallel“无可比拟的”，其实各位考友也可以用在自己的举例之中。最后优秀范例的gained his reputation只能算是平庸之作，也就是词汇量还算好，仅此而已。不过最后用一个genius来修饰social network就显得很棒了，因为genius这个词之前我们多用名词的词性，很少还想用它来修饰其他的词，因此，这个词在这里用的不错！
第三句优秀范例：Therefore, technology has provided children the internal motive to develop their creativity.相比平庸范例So, Technology give an inner reason in developing their own creation.显然therefore会比so更书面一丁点，但也仅是一丁点。其后优秀范例的internal motive“内在动机”显得非常地道！虽然谈不上妙笔，但是在这里能想到这个词，同时能用好，可以说很不容易。
最后一段第一句优秀范例写得很棒In a nutshell, I still regard children as becoming increasingly creative in technology development, although it might bring minor side effect.对比平庸范例All in all, Although technology may have some bad effects, I believe the more technology develops, the more creation that children may have.差距非常明显！首先优秀范例的regard“考虑到”引申为“认为”的意思我们就很少用到，然后regard sb as sth一个固定搭配“认为某人怎么样”接becoming increasingly creative而不是传统的用定语从句，或者宾语从句来解决问题，显得比较新颖，而且“增加创造力”作者也没有用单纯的动宾结构increase sth来写，而是用了becoming来创造出变化的感觉，然后用increasingly显示出变化的方向，最后用creative写出变化的主体在“创造力”上，可以说与我们平时的写作习惯大相径庭！十分值得学习。而且作者还有意地将although后置，来强调凸显出前面的观点。然后“副作用”作者也很委婉的用了side effect而不是像平庸范例里用了bad effect这么直接。不仅如此，作者还用了我们平时很少用的minor来显示负面效应其实很小，显得十分书面。
最后优秀范例As long as we keep a balanced mood on children enjoying the fruit of technology, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.跟平庸范例相比As long as we have a good attitude in the appreciation of the technologic development of children, the technology development will offer more contribution in the children’s creation.作者的balanced mood“平衡的心态”显得非常的地道！忍不住有抱住亲一口的冲动！然后作者竟然想出了fruit of technology“技术的果实”来表达我们经常喜欢说的XXX的结果，相信作者写到这里的时候，被自己的想象力都感动哭了！这是赤果果的小学作文金句啊！最后作者用innovation来替代前面已经用了的无数遍的creative，显示出作者是有意的在增加自己用词的多样性。而且，作者还用到了be sure to do sth来表达应该做XXX，而不是用should或者must之流，可以说作者的阅读量还是不错的。
阿弥陀佛！11月号的作文巨讲堂就到这里了，休息，休息！^_^
2011年12月
无老师优秀范例：First and foremost, technology has provided children with easy access to scientific and liberal art resources which is their best source of inspiration. For example, children could now easily gain access to academic databases through iPad screen, read classical works on Kindle, or watch historic documents on Internet. These great works are essentially helpful to arousing their curiosity and prepares them with key knowledge necessary for any creation. However, these wonderful equipments and facilities are never as handy in the past, when kids could only reach limited resources in public libraries or schools. In this sense, technology has provided the possibility for children to be more creative.
无老师优秀翻译：第一点，技术给孩子们提供了更容易的接近科学和文学作品的机会，而这些恰好就是激发人创造能力的最好的源泉。举个例子，孩子们现在就很容易用ipad去查询学术数据库，用kindle读经典名著，亦或者是在网上读历史文件。这些伟大的发明都会激发人们的好奇心，而且还为他们进行创造做好了必要的，知识上的准备。但是，这些伟大的发明在之前是完全没有的，尤其是当孩子们被限制在公共图书馆和学校的那些有限资源里的时候。从这个角度来说，技术给孩子们提供了更具创造力的可能。
无老师平庸范例：First and foremost, the technology provides more chances to get in touch with science and writing, which are the best way of inspiring creation. For example, children could use Ipad to search academic databases, use kindle to read great books, or read history document on the internet. All these creations could inspire the curiosity, but also offer technical and sciential preparation for the creation. But all these great equipment didn’t exist in the past, especially the kids were limited resources of the public libraries and schools. So, the technology provides more creativity for the children.
无老师精析：本段内容非常好的诠释出英语本身的表达，与用中文翻译成英文之间的巨大差别。可以说，英文本身是精细化，准确化的，但是中文只要求意思表达清楚即可，可以模糊处理，这一点在本片文章中体现的非常明显。
第一句：优秀范例，First and foremost, technology has provided children with easy access to scientific and liberal art resources which is their best source of inspiration.当头一棒，同样是用provide这个表达，优秀范例用了with easy access to这个固定搭配，表达的是“更易于接触到……”但是平庸范例First and foremost, the technology provides more chances to get in touch with science and writing, which are the best way of inspiring creation.，只是用到了“provides more chances to”，让人看上去觉得很死板。其后，优秀范例当想表示“激励创新”的时候，只是轻巧的用了inspire的名词inspiration，其实就一定表达出了“激励创新”这层含义，而平庸范例，僵化的写出了inspiring creation，显得用词很生硬。
第二句，优秀范例For example, children could now easily gain access to academic databases through iPad screen, read classical works on Kindle, or watch historic documents on Internet.相比于平庸范例For example, children could use Ipad to search academic databases, use kindle to read great books, or read history document on the internet. 这里很显然，For example并不会影响人们的分数，影响水平高低的，其实是优秀范例再次拿出了access这个词，但是遇上依据不同，这一句直接将其与谓语动词gain相连，写出了gain access to，这样就显得对词汇的广度了解得很好。其后当提到databases的时候，很恰当的加入了academic对其进行限定，这与后面的提到ipad作者并没有简单的写ipad，而是对其进行进一步描述加入了screen，这里就与前面的academic一脉相承，显示出作者对于内容描述得很细致，这都是加分的环节。
第三句，优秀范例These great works are essentially helpful to arousing their curiosity and prepares them with key knowledge necessary for any creation.就更棒了这里的are essentially helpful to与with key knowledge necessary for是本句话最大的亮点。对比一下平庸范例“All these creations could inspire the curiosity, but also offer technical and sciential preparation for the creation.”显然are helpful to其实就是我们平时用的help的另一种说法，然后又用essentially表示出程度真的是相得益彰。然后with key knowledge限定出其是在“知识”上对其有“重要”的帮助，其实就是我们经常写的in the way of ……，然后necessary for其实就是我们很喜欢写的must，这样的用法十分地道，强烈建议把这句话背下来，这是典型的表达方式的不同！
下一句，优秀范例However, these wonderful equipments and facilities are never as handy in the past, when kids could only reach limited resources in public libraries or schools.对比平庸范例But all these great equipment didn’t exist in the past, especially the kids were limited resources of the public libraries and schools.主要的差别是在动词上。优秀范例的are never as handy in the past，“历史上从未出现过如此方便的……”，将as handy十分轻巧的插在句子之中，闲得很妙。但是平庸范例则是didn’t exist就显得很直白，没有丝毫的美感。然后优秀范例的后半句reach limited resources这里的reach就用得很巧妙，reach本身是“触及”的意思，但是“触及到”资源，不也就是“读到”这些资源么，这里用的有点类似于“僧推月下门”之中的“推”字，颇值得玩味。
最后一句In this sense, technology has provided the possibility for children to be more creative.用到了我们很少用到的possible的名词形式possibility，同时连带本句话后面的to be more creative，就完全避免了平庸范例So, the technology provides more creativity for the children.的provides more creativity这种僵化的形式。
语言本身很多时候是不能通过简单的词汇和语法进行拼凑的，本篇文章就是一个很好的范例。
至于2011年07月的呢？-_-!!!!忘写了...............